Thursday, November 26, 2009

Fousesquawk Sports Update- US Government Lions Lose-Again

Must be a tea-bagger

The newly-reconstructed US Government Lions of Detroit lost another one today. This year's "turkey-day slugfest" featured the Green Bay Packers slugging the Lions around to the tune of 34-12 at newly renamed Geithner Field. The Lions "Hail Mary" offense was ineffective again today. Penalties were also a problem for the Lions, most notably delay of game flags. On one occasion, the Lions were called for delay of game as they huddled for 2 months trying to figure out their next move.

In spite of all that, the Obama Administration has proclaimed 2009 as a year of "recovery" since the government took over. White House Press Spokesperson (and court jester) Robert Gibbs pointed out that the Lions have won 2 games this year as opposed to zero last year under the Bush Administration.

"That's an increase of 200%", said Gibbs.

Of course, the Lions are playing short-handed with so many of their stars unable to play. Quarterback Carl Levin is back in the Lions' corporate hqs in Washington trying to increase taxes. Wide receiver Jennifer Granholm was also out trying to raise more taxes to pay for more jobs since there are no jobs and no workers because they have all left the state because of the high taxes and no jobs. In fact, the only people in Michigan who have jobs are the Lions.

Most importantly, head coach John Conyers has been granted a leave of absence for personal family reasons. (His wife is on her way to jail.)

Get 'em next week, boys.

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