The Joe and Mika Show

Now that I am teaching a morning class, I've been listening to Joe Scarborughro and Mika Bryzyzinski on the radio lately. All I knew about Ms Bzrzzynsky was that she was a news reporter and daughter of Jimmy Carter's National Security Advisor, Zabighniyef Brizynxhshy (strikes one and two). Initially, however, I formed the opinion that while certainly attractive, she didn't seem to have an opinion on much-just sort of fed off whatever Scorboro was saying. Today, however, I learned that Ms Byrzunkgski does have opinions-she is a liberal. After all, she attended Williams College in Massachusetts.

As I tuned in while driving down the freeway (we still have something that's free in California), Scarburou and Bryzhanzscky were arguing over whether the government should meddle itself into the dietary habits of Americans. Of course, like a good liberal, Bzyrazinski told Skarborro that it should since everywhere you looked, you saw fat Americans-especially fat children. According to Mica, the government should step in and make sure that every American child was getting enough vegetables.

(Personally, I don't care if I eat another vegetable the rest of my life, Micky. And I really don't care about all those fat people walking around. It's their life.)

Then, we turned from the opinion phase of the show to Mike giving the news-which was more opinion. First up was a shot at Miss California. According to Bullshinsky, Carrie Prejean was capitalizing on her fame by telling her church in San Diego that God was directing her to give a truthful answer about gay marriage to that revolting reptile, Perez Hilton (my description, not hers). All a PR move according to Brkzhxnsky. Skarburrow, thank God, came to Miss California's defense for being a Christian and being honest. Amen.

Well, anyway, now I've got Brkxjynski pegged even if I can't spell her name. And as for all you Polish folks who are offended, save your cards and letters. What you need to do is lobby the Polish Language Academy in Warsaw to standardize its darned language-you know, like throw in a few vowels and make it simple like in English.

Ain't that right, Joe?