Hi, A-Rod here. First, I want to make an official statement on my announced suspension by Major League Baseball. I am innocent, and the above picture is proof.
I want all my fans to know that I was not using any enhanced performance drugs. Oh, there was a couple a coupe of years when I was playing in Texas, but I already fessed up to that. Since then, I have been clean.
The secret of my phenomenal success is that I have been eating my Wheaties as the above photo attests. Because of Wheaties, I have hit almost 700 home runs.
That's right.
And another thing. Don't believe anything Bud Selig tells you. Did you know that before he was commissioner, he was a car salesman?
That's right.
Besides, just look at him. One look and you know this is a guy that has never eaten his Wheaties.
(Wheaties also helps promote proper hair growth.)
So don't lose the faith. I will be back. And don't forget to eat your Wheaties.
2 comments:
I do believe that A-Rod should have been given a lifetime ban.
2 years is a joke.
So do I. It's not just about a guy who hits 700 homers and runs up hall of fame stats. It's about marginal players who cheat and win jobs from marginal players who don't cheat. It's about players who cheat and make their way to the major leagues vs those who don't cheat and never make the majors. This runs all the way down the line.
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