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Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Fousesquawk Answers Allegations of Sexual Harassment



Below is an interview of Fousesquawk by Fox's Greta van Susteren

VS: "Mr Fousesquawk. As you are aware, Politico is reporting that a woman from Portland filed a sexual harassment complaint against you several years ago. Would you care to comment?"

F: "Portland, Oregon or Portland Maine"?

VS: "That would be Portland, Maine."

F: "Oh, that Portland. Sure. I remember her. What's the problem?"

VS: "She is alleging that you engaged in inappropriate sexual behavior that made her feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, there is a non-disclosure agreement in her settlement, and the details are unavailable."

F: "Well, let me fill in the blanks for you, Greta. I was a little heavy in those days, and she was, in fact, uncomfortable, so I suggested she get on top. That solved the problem, at least I thought so at the time."

VS: "But Mr Fousesquawk. Poilitico is also alleging that there is a racial aspect to all of this because the woman is white."

F: "Hell, so am I."


VS: "Is there any truth to the allegation that you were drinking at the time of this encounter, Sir?"

F: "Is there any truth to the allegation that the Pope is Catholic? Next question."

VS: "Uh, OK. Then let me refer you to the woman from Portland, Oregon, who also filed a complaint against you. Do you remember her as well?"

F: "You bet'cha."

VS: "She charged that you made a workplace advance on her; in fact, that you asked her to sleep with you. Is that true?"

F: "You bet'cha. She turned me down though."

VS: "But do you think it is proper for a boss to try and make advances toward a subordinate?"

F: "Hell, no. That's why I asked her. She was my boss. Big mistake on my part. She not only slapped me, but she demoted me too."\

VS: "I see. Yet, Politico is reporting that there is yet another woman whom you allegedly tried to pick up who said there was a racial aspect to your advances. She claimed that you singled her out because she was black."

F: " Hell, so am I."


VS: "Well, what does Mrs. Fousesquawk think about all these stories."

F: "Whadda'ya mean Mrs. Fousesquawk? I'm a penguin. You ever see birds getting married?"

VS: " Uh no. Thank you for your time, Sir."

F: "No problem. Say, would you like a drink?"

6 comments:

Findalis said...

LOL that is the best explanation I have heard yet.

Siarlys Jenkins said...

I laughed. Is this based on anything in particular? If not, its funny.

Gary Fouse said...

Siarlys,

Yes, it is based on Jack the Ripper.

Ingrid said...

There is absolutely no reason to think that sexual harassment on the job or any other place is a reason for jokes.

Gary Fouse said...

Humbug.

Siarlys Jenkins said...

I have never been accused of sexual harassment, but I was once accused of violating a "company harassment policy" by demanding in writing to be paid in full for all hours worked. The company expunged that without admitting guilt, after three years going through the state worker protection system.

ANY legitimate accusation CAN be misused. E.g., rape is not a laughing matter, but an ulteriorly motivated woman may well concoct a false rape charge, just as a rapist may lie that it was consensual sex. I know of a woman who called police after a man broke into her house and attempted to assault her (she had stabbed him with a kitchen knife in self-defense). Police arrested both of them because he cleverly said it was a domestic dispute and she was his girl friend. They said "its his word against yours, so we have to take you both in."

If sexual harassment has occured, it is not a laughing matter. If it has not, there may be some room to ridicule the accusation.

Apparently this is about the Un-Mc, aka Mr. Cain. I don't keep up on his pecadillos or allegations thereof, but there are better reasons not to vote for him. This is a distraction.