Late this afternoon, I stopped at one of my favorite lemonade stands, and while I was enjoying my lemonade and cookies, there on the TV screen in front of me-instead of a hockey game- was The Oscars.
"Ah wunnerful ah wunnerful, ah!"
Well, no actually. I would have preferred a hockey game. I had no idea it was on tonight. Anyway, here I am at the computer while my wife watches this lollapaloosa extravanganza of the beautiful and self-absorbed people. While sipping my lemonade, however, I did get to watch one of those professional brown-nosers that stand by the red carpet and ask inane questions of the glamorous stars like, "What are you weariing tonight, Dear?"
"Oh well, it's the latest from Pierre LaFouffe, do you like it?"
"Stunning, Darling. Where's the bra?"
"Oh, my husband is wearing it tonight."
No, it wasn't Pat O'Brien (the announcer I mean). I heard he was on an important call.
I wonder what Martin Sheen's favorite son, Charlie is wearing tonight. Hopefully, he will have pants on. (Don't forget the belt, Charlie). If my brother were Charlie Sheen, I'd change my name to something like Emilio Esteban. (I'd still hang out with him though, heh heh.)
Is it just me, or didn't they just have one of these bonanzas, the Golden Globe or the People's Choice or Emmy's? I mean how many of these trinkets can they hand out to each other?
Only two things are sure at the Oscar's like death and (huge) taxes; someone will make an ass out of himself, herself or itself at the microphone, and the camera will catch some young airhead actress "fighting back" tears as someone talks about giraffes starving in Africa, or some such rot.
That's right.
Enough about these bozos. Are the Penguins on tonight?
1 comment:
I've never watched the Oscars. I didn't know they were on either, and I didn't watch them at all. I enjoyed my lemonade though, and I just got five boxes of Girl Scout thin mints.
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