The Macabre Circus in Caracas

Just when you thought Venezuelan strongman Hugo Chavez couldn't get any more bizarre, he pulls another wacko stunt. Thursday, Chavez had the remains of the South American liberator, Simon Bolivar, exhumed in Caracas. Reason? To prove that Bolivar did not die of tuberculosis but was poisoned when he died in 1830 in Colombia.

Here it is, folks on Venezuelan TV, the Moment We Have All Been Waiting For....
with that great forensic pathologist and talk show host Hugo Chavez narrating in his finest Castillian Spanish.(I think Don Francisco's job may be in jeopardy.)





"I confess that we have wept... that glorious skeleton must be Bolívar, because his flame can be felt."

"Our father who is in the earth, the water and the air ... You awake every hundred years when the people awaken, I confess that we have cried, we have sworn allegiance."



My question is why Chavez didn't invite his pals Danny Glover, Jimmy Carter, Harry Belafonte and Sean Penn to the "historic ceremony". Glover's been talking about making a movie in Venezuela. How about a remake of "The Mummy's Tomb"? Belafonte could sing, "The Banana Republic Song", while Carter could blame Israel or the US for Bolivar's death. Penn? He could hit somebody.

Of course, back on the "serious side", if testing reveals that Bolivar was indeed poisoned in Colombia 180 years ago, that gives Chavez more "ammunition" to draw his country closer to war with his neighbor. Great.

Meanwhile, I have a great idea! Let's exhume George Washington. I think he was poisoned by..........the Canadians. Yeah, that's the ticket. Put the armed forces on alert!