Good evening,
This is your president speaking on behalf of GOLD. With all this financial mess going on (which I am helping create), it's time for you to take a hard look at paper currency. You know all those hundred dollar bills you got in your wallet? They ain't worth the paper they're printed on.
Here's a little economics lesson for all you UC Santa Cruz Community Studies majors. (I know you're watching me live in the classroom as I speak.) You see, we have spent so much money on all our great programs that the US Mint is working 24-7 to spit out more paper money to pay for everything. The result is that the value of our money is sinking faster than the Titanic in a bathtub. But don't panic. After all, we have Tim Geithner running the Treasury Department.
So what's the solution? Here's a little insider trading tip from the Messiah:
Invest in GOLD.
That's right. With gold, you don't have to worry what crackpot government is in power. Hell, look at Greece:
Greek Community Studies majors in action
That's right. Those crazy Greeks running the government spent so much money it ain't worth beans anymore. Oh, where is Greece, ask you Community Studies majors? It's in Europe, you know that place we want America to be like. But don't worry about Greece. The EU and the International Monetary Fund will bail them out, and guess what? Twenty-five per cent of the IMF comes from.....
US!
So what do you do when the money is gone?
No, don't riot; invest in GOLD (if you have any money to buy it with).
3 comments:
Cold tip: about the time gold salesmen are touting how much gold has risen over the past umpteen years, you can expect the price to fall in the next year or two. Why do you think these salesmen are eager to sell you their gold? They want to cash in before the crash. If they expected it to keep going up, they'd be holding onto it -- and that alone would raise the purchase price. Supply and demand, you know. Once it turns down, the rush to sell will accelerate the losses...
You mean there's NO HOPE?
Oh, I still have confidence in the president I voted for. Perhaps within your present horizons there is no hope at all. I would like to see a number of aging Democratic incumbents dumped this fall (although I will vote for my senator and congress rep to be re-elected), along with a number of Republican incumbents.
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