Whistle Blower Blues

"Is this Adam Schiff's office? Listen. I got some good sh-- on Trump. The bartender where I hang out told me his brother heard from a well connected friend that Trump threatened the president of Ukraine if he didn't investigate Biden and his kid. I'll tell ya everything I know, but ya gotta keep my name out of it. Use that whistle blower deal, whatever ya gotta do. Also, I want a $250,000 reward and be put in the Witness Protection program."