Back when I was a kid, there was a popular show on radio and TV called, "Queen for a Day". The show featured a series of down on their luck women who came out and told their sob story and what they wished for (usually a washing machine or some other appliance). The audience would vote by applause as to which contestant got the goodies depending on who garnered the most sympathy.
One day, we all turned on the radio because my first cousin-still a teenager- was on the show. When asked what she wanted, she asked for a box to keep her little possessions in because her cousin (me) was always getting into them (a real tale of woe). Needless to say, she did not win.
So with my late cousin in mind, let's return to those days of yesteryear and play, "Queen for a Day". This episode is from early 2001.
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"Hello and welcome to our studio audience. Let's welcome our first contestant, shall we? Let's all give a warm welcome to Hillary Rodham Clinton!"
(Mild applause)
"Hello, Hillary."
"Hello, Jack."
"Tell us, Hillary. Where do you live and what do you do?"
"Well, to tell you the truth, Jack, right now I am homeless and out of work."
"Oh? How so?"
"Well, my husband and I have recently been evicted from the White House, and we are dead broke."
"How did that happen, Hillary?"
"Well, our lease ran out and we have so many legal bills, we just can't make ends meet. Our kid has been attending Stanford, Oxford and Columbia, and I'm not sure we can keep paying her tuition."
"Well, how did you get all those legal bills?'
"It's because my husband was working so hard for the American people, and he got caught up in that vast right-wing conspiracy. The next thing we knew all these women were crawling out of the woodwork accusing Bill of all kinds of stuff while I was away almost getting killed in places like Sarajevo, and no matter how much he said it wasn't true, well, next thing we knew, there were lawyers, special prosecutors, depositions, grand juries, nobody is buying my book, and well, here I am on Queen for a Day, boo-hoo-hoo."
"Well, that's terrible, Hillary. I am sure everyone in the audience feels sympathy for you. Tell us, how can we help? What would you like to get on Queen for a Day?"
"Well, Jack, first of all, I was hoping I could get a house- in Chappaqua, perhaps. And secondly, I would like to be
"OK, Hillary. Don't go away. After we hear from our other two contestants, we'll let the audience decide."
(Later in the show)
"Now it's time for the audience to decide. Contestant number one-Myrtle Peabody's husband fell in a cement-mixer and is now permanently disabled. She needs a washer-dryer to do her laundry. Please signify by your applause, please."
(Mild applause)
"Contestant number two, Bertha Boxcar, had her right ear bitten off by a great white shark while swimming in Lake Michigan. She needs a hearing aid. "Let's hear it for Bertha."
(Mild applause)
"And our third contestant, Hillary Rodham Clinton, is dead broke and homeless. She wants a house in Chappaqua and a job in the US Senate. Your applause, please."
(Wild cheering and standing ovation)
"Congratulations, Hillary Rodham Clinton! You are Queen for a Day!"
"What do you mean for a day?"
9 comments:
I don't think she is going to run. She steps in it on practically every interview. She simply doesn't have the touch that Bill Clinton had and apparently still has.
When you say you had a tough time trying to acquire houses (plural), it seems more than a bit out of touch with average Americans. Her book sales are disastrous which should give her a clue about her chances.
She has no record to run on except bonus miles. She did nothing as Secretary of State or as a Senator. Being the wife of a President, isn't useful experience.
She would still get get $200,000+ for speaking engagements and not have to re-live all the scandals going back to White Water through Bengahzi and there have been quite a few in between.
It would be a little masochistic it seems to me to go into the crucible of examination that a presidential campaign would entail.
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Miggie,
There are rumors she is beginning to tire of the constant pressure. To the extent we can keep that pressure on, hopefully she will decide to foregt about it.
She certainly made a mistake by exposing her flaws this early.
I don't know who the left wing has another candidate besides crazy Joe Biden and the even crazier Elizabeth Warren. They have a shallow bench.
Excellent point. I don't consider Biden or Warren to be a bench.
So if Biden and Warren are not on the bench ready to go in, who are their third tier players? Harry Reid? Debbie Wasserman-Shultz? Nancy Pelosie?
The Republicans have at least a half dozen successful governors who could run, not to mention legislators like Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Paul Ryan, etc., besides guys like Jeb Bush, Allen West, Ben Carson.
I will bet that George Soros has a good idea who will be the next Demo prez candidate.
Squid
People like Eugene Robinson are touting Warren if Hill falters. Can we really rule out a run by Biden?? Incumbency is a powerful tool.
Its not the most creative comedy piece I've ever seen, but Hillary asked for this, and the end is worth a laugh or two.
Keep up the campaign guys... you're going to save the Democrats from their own stupidity... they'll have to nominate a dark horse who might stand a chance of winning.
Robinson is indeed an idiot, and proves it by touting Warren. The two go together well.She almost certainly would fold up like a lawn chair.
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