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Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Random Shots in the Dark (48)

Hat tip John Speedie for audio




We begin this RSD with who else but Hillary Clinton. She's been making headlines almost every day with her lollapalooza book tour. In one interview, she claimed that she and her erstwhile husband Bill were "dead broke" when they left the White House. Of course, charging hundreds of thousands of dollars per speaking appearance will fix that in a jiffy. "Po Folks" Bill and Hillary are now worth hundreds of millions.

Then Bill makes things worse by trying to stick up for his erstwhile missus by talking about how they go to the neighborhood market together on the weekends.



Speaking of the Clintons, my sources tell me that if Hillary becomes president, she plans to send Bill to Paris as US ambassador.

And you know what that means

I heard on the news today that explorers think they have found the remains of a ship called the Griffin, which purportedly sank in Lake Michigan in the 17th century. That sounds fishy enough (no pun intended), but then they said that the ship was commanded by a captain named La Salle who was searching for the northwest passage to China!

China! On Lake Michigan!

You talk about a fool's errand, that sounds like John Kerry searching for peace in the Middle East.


This week, Kerry sailed into Baghdad and told the Iraqi president that he had to step down and let a "unity government" take over. And you know where that will lead....

Have you seen those Johnny Bench Blu Emu commercials? Time hasn't been good to Johnny.



I mean times are bad when you go from Hall of Fame catcher to Danny De Vito look-a-like.


I don't know about this Blu-Emu stuff, but maybe the Cubs can advertise it next year on that new jumbo-tron they plan to build in left field.


In closing, that stuff about Bill going to Paris as ambassador? I made that up. It was the only way I could fit that Can-Can bit in.

4 comments:

Siarlys Jenkins said...

If you studied American history, you would know that La Salle did build a ship, called the Griffon, the first sailing ship on the Great Lakes, and it was lost in a storm on its first voyage. (That was back to Quebec, not off in search of China, but there were many theories about how to find a Northwest Passage to the Pacific, before we had satellite mapping, or even Lewis and Clark. So maybe Gary isn't the only person ignorant of American history.)

Gary Fouse said...

Siarlys,

I never said the ship didn't sink. I first heard about it on Fox or CNN not sure which a few days ago. The whole thing was meant to be funny. Jeez.

Gary Fouse said...

Siarlys,

I never said the ship didn't sink. I first heard about it on Fox or CNN not sure which a few days ago. The whole thing was meant to be funny. Jeez.

Siarlys Jenkins said...

On the bright side, I understand the Cubs won a game against Arizona recently.