N Hello?
O Long distance operator. I have a collect call from Ted. Will you accept the charges?
N *%#@!*&. Yeah, OK.
O Go ahead, Sir.
N Hello?
K Hey Dick! This is Ted. What's up ?(LOL)
N Nothin' Absolutely nothin'. I'm in Yorba Linda remember? How about you? I hear you're buried in snow back there in Washington (LOL)
K Very funny. We haven't talked lately. I was wondering what's shakin' in Califahrnia. (LOL)
N Well, Jerry Brown is governor again.
K Get out! He was governah when you, ah, ah died, wasn't he?
N Heh. He was governor when Abe Lincoln died. And get this. He's even got a wife this time.
K Get out! What's heh name?
N Hell if I know. Hell if anybody knows. Nobody ever sees her. She's like Eva Braun. Only the inner circle knows about her.
K So what's Jerry up to?
N He's trying to finish the job.
K What job?
N Destroying the state. But get this: He's building a railroad.
K Get out.
N Yeah. Just what we need. It's costin' 7 trillion bucks, and they just started the first leg up in Central California from Bakersfield to some town I never heard of in Bullsnuts County.
K That'll be a big boost to the economy (LOL).
N Hey, Ted, not for nothin' but who's president back there in Washington these days?
K Barack Obama
N Who?
K Barack Obama.
N We must have a bad connection. I didn't ask what was number one on the hit parade. I asked who was president.
K Oh, I heard ya. The president's name is Barack Obama.
N Get out. You finally got another Irishman back in the White House.
K Well, ah not exactly.
N So where's he from?
K You don't wanna know. In fact, we don't even know.
N So whatever happened to that prick Clinton? He was president when I kicked the bucket.
K That's right. He even went out to Califahnia and spoke at your funeral. Said some nice things.
N Get out.
K Yeah. Oh, He's around. Did ya heah Hillary became secretary of state?
N You mean that %#@*^ wife of his? Henry must be turning in his grave.
K Henry ain't dead yet, Dick.
N Oh.
K Word is she's the front-runner to be the next president.
N Get out. How can that happen? What are we, Argentina? Eva Braun, Eva Peron. My skull is spinning. Nobody likes that %$#@*.
K You'd be surprised.
N After all those babes that Bill was kookin' in the White House behind her back how can anybody trust her to keep a handle on the world?
K It's a long story, Dick, I won't bore you with the details.
N Hey, Ted. Speakin' about kookin' in the White House, how's Jack?
K Fine. He's right over heah. You know he's back togetheh with Jackie.
N So I guess I better not say anything about Jack, you, and Marilyn, right?
K Uh, that wasn't me, Dick That was Bobby.
N Oh yeah. I know he's right there too, so I better change the subject. I don't wanna stir up that famous temper of his. Hey, how are my Redskins doing lately?
K Samo samo. They're losing and everybody wants them to change their name.
N Yeah, I got a suggestion. Move 'em to LA and call them the LA Redskins. Hey, remember that time I sent them a play to use in the Super Bowl?
K Yeah and they're still using it-same results. Listen, it's been nice talking to ya.
N Yeah. Try to stay warm back there-and next time how bout callin' on your own dime?
K Remember Dick. You ah a Republican, and I am a Democrat.
N Yeah. I almost forgot. Stay dry.
(click)
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