Random Shots in the Dark (44)

Audio-hat tip John Speedie

This Fousesquawk business is getting pretty stressful. It's only the end of July, and already I am dealing with the biggest field of candidates for the Fousesquawk Jerk of the Year award in my short history, all vying for the coveted Golden Penguin for 2013. There are even some repeat candidates. Come January 1, I have one of the weightiest decisions of my life in selecting among so many worthy candidates. Can I be equal to the task?

Pray.

Take Anthony Weiner, for example. Just this week, he has added insult to injury (to himself)  by releasing this campaign ad complete with symphony violins and Johnathan Livingston Seagull music. (Get your handkerchiefs ready, Folks.)








     "It's not about me."                                                                                                        










Yes, it's the Peoples Campaign.

Meanwhile, a former intern for the campaign has come forth and stated that Weiner had a curious habit of addressing all of his female interns as "Monica". That led to a profanity-laced tirade from one of  Weiner's handlers (no pun intended).

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/07/31/weiner-aide-apologizes-for-remarks-about-former-campaign-intern/

Well, enough about Wiener. As we all know, it's a bad time to be a mayor. Ask Dave Bing in Detroit.


Then there's San Diego's Bob "Feeling you" Filner.

"I'm just a friendly guy."


He's heading off to some clinic for a couple of weeks hiding out from Gloria Allred, who is representing one of his female accusers.

Up in LA, as the city heads toward bankruptcy, ex-mayor Antonio Villar aka  Villaraigosa has gotten a temporary job as a bank consultant while he prepares to run for governor of California.

Speaking of which, we return briefly to New York, where Eliot Spitzer is running for city comptroller.

He's the guy who used to be governor until he got caught blowing some 80 grand on call girls.

80 Grand.

This just in: Alex Rodriguez has just announced he is entering the New York City mayoral race since it looks he will have a lot of time on his hands this summer and fall.

Even in Milwaukee, Ryan Braun is jumping into the race.



Gee. What a shame we won't see a Yankees-Brewers world series this year.



I wonder who's running for mayor in Boston




Well, enough about the small stuff (no pun intended). Let's turn our attention overseas, where John Heinz Kerry, eyes on that Nobel prize, has strong-armed the Israelis into releasing 104 Palestinian killers-yes killers as a sign of good will to the Palestinians just so they can resume "peace" negotiations.

As if Kerry could achieve what the Olive Tree Initiative has failed to achieve. And what is the Olive Tree Initiative, you ask?

You don't wanna know.

At any rate, we haven't seen such diplomacy since President Jimmah was in office.

                                                                      Jimmah

As for prisoner exchanges, don't be surprised if Obama commutes the sentence of Jonathan Pollard in the not-too-distant future. The Israelis need to have something to show for this give-away. Prisoner deals seem to be all the rage now. We're hearing about a possible trade of a female Pakistani terrorist named Siddiqi for that Pakistani doctor who helped us track Osama bin Laden. Then there is the trade by the Department of Homeland Security, which shipped Janet Napolitano to UC Berkeley for a burglar alarm. The trade deadline expires today, but thank God the Cubs finally sent Alfonso Soriano to the Yankees (We were speaking of New York, weren't we?).

I must change that photo to another player next year along with the new number (106).

But I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah. I was talking about people getting out of jail. I don't know if you've heard from NPR, but over in THAT part of the world, they don't need prisoner exchanges. They just break out by the hundreds. Just this past week, 1,000 of them escaped from a Libyan prison, and the Taliban broke out 250 in Pakistan. Maybe the US should send some drones over there to help the local marshals track them down. Then we can send a few more billions of bucks over there to help them build up their prison infrastructure.

Sure glad we got'em on our side.