Sunday, July 7, 2013
New Reality Show: "Moscow Airport Transit Lounge" Starring Edward Snowden
First it was The Bachelor
Then it was The Bachelorette
Now it's The Leaker
It's the perfect idea! A new reality show based at Moscow Airport and focused on The Leaker-Edward Snowden, the famous leaker of NSA documents, as he feverishly looks for a country to give him diplomatic asylum. Snowden has been sitting in the transit area for about two weeks now, a new world's record.
As the first episode opens, we hear the voice over of Snowden describing his last two weeks at Moscow's Sheremetyevo Airport. Let's listen in.
"Well,. I've been here two weeks now since I arrived from Hong Kong. My cell phone has gone dead, and I can't even change my Chinese money into Russian rubles. Thank God, I have my credit card, but I am getting close to my limit eating borscht and sipping vodka. Every hour or so, I get up to walk around, hit the head or stretch my legs, but then I run the risk of losing my seat."
The camera ranges to the left and right showing long lines of passengers being called to their flights to such exotic places as La Paz, Quito, and Nicaragua. For Snowden, however, there is no flight. Only the cold hard chairs of the transit lounge.
"I don't see why I should have to go back to the US and face the consequences of what I did."
Of course, Snowden does attract some curious on-lookers and Russian officials. Some approach him to get their pictures taken together or ask for autographs. Often, burly men in suits and sunglasses sit down next to him to chat with him in English and write down copious notes. Every few hours, they leave him to lay across a couch and sleep for a few fitful hours.
"I guess I could stay here, marry a Russian woman, and settle down. It just doesn't measure up to Hawaii though. Can you imagine me being a sidelight on 'Real Houseswives of Moscow'?"
Another night falls.
Another day begins.
"I haven't heard from my girlfriend in Hawaii since I left Hong Kong. I wonder what she is doing."
Tune in tomorrow for another exciting episode of "Moscow Airport Transit Lounge".
(hat tip John Speedie)
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