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Monday, January 9, 2012

On the Treadmill With CNN






Wolf Blitzer


To quote the hapless Wolf Blitzer (He said it today), I usually use my time on the treadmill to engage in multi-tasking, specifically to follow the news and cable news channels. Today, I decided to see what CNN has been up to the past few years.

Today, there was some hot info-babe acting as anchor and she had Wolf join her for a few minutes before his own "Situation Room" began. The first topic was John Huntsman's three young daughters, who have been on the campaign trail. Wolf created his own situation when, in response to the hot info-babe saying that the daughters were "intelligent and beautiful", said, "as are you"-or something along those lines. (Must have been that tight red sweater she was wearing.) Flustered, the hot info-babe said that after the commercial break, they would, ahem, discuss that and other issues. I suspect she gave Wolfie an earful during the break for being such a sexist.

When they resumed, they covered a bunch of useless topics, like William Daley leaving his position as White House chief of staff so he "could spend more time with his family".



Actually, when they showed that news conference, Daley looked like he hadn't been outside the White House for the last three years. He was as white and pasty-faced as a ghost, especially compared to his replacement, a tanned Jack Lew, who apparently has decided to spend less time with his family.

However, the piece de resistance was a bit about how they took a poll at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch in Bullsnuts, Nevada and found that Ron Paul was their favorite of the Republican candidates. I was trying to keep from falling off the treadmill because I was laughing so hard and missed the reason why they like Paul. Maybe he is a big tipper, I don't know. (For all you UC Santa Cruz Community Studies majors, the Moonlight Bunny Ranch is a bordello. At least I think so. That's what the big boys tell me.)

Then, just as I was getting off the treadmill to go and pick up the dog-poo, that old fart Jack Cafferty came on. I didn't know he was still alive, I had been away from CNN for so long. Rather than watch Jack, I decided to go pick up the dog-poo.

(Never did get the name of that hot info babe.)



7 comments:

Siarlys Jenkins said...

For someone who despises CNN, you spend a lot of time watching it. Glutton for punishment?

Findalis said...

Gary you know that you cannot use such big words as bordello. You have to dumb it down to the level of the UC Santa Cruz Community Studies majors. You should have called it the fun house or cat house.

Bordello is a very Sesquipedalian word.

Gary Fouse said...

Yes, and sexist to boot.

Gary Fouse said...

I do listen to both sides.

elwood p suggins said...

For a while there, I thought Siarlys was the only contributor who apparently read the dictionary from cover to cover rather than using it for occasional reference. Looks to me like Findalis also does the same. However, at least according to according to my WNCD (actually WNNCD), sesquipedalian is a considerably more sesquipedalian (twice, perhaps??) word than is bordello.

Reading the dictionary would appear to me to be much like reading the phone book,which I tried. I found that it had way too many characters and little if in fact any plot, so I put it down.

Siarlys Jenkins said...

You are quite a character elwood, but you haven't ever offered a much of a plot. Is that too sesquipedalian for you? (Sorry, I don't have a dictionary handy, so I haven't looked the word up yet.)

elwood p suggins said...

Siarlys--why are you so surly?? I can really recommend that while watching Bill o'Reilly when he does his "word of the day", or Findalis throws out a word like he did, it is quite enlightening to look it up if for no other reason than curiosity, whether you actually ever use it or not.

I may be a "character", but I would note that a lot of people take themselves a lot more seriously than is warranted. Need to stop and smell the roses and feel the breeze every now and then, and if that sandal don't fit, don't strap it on.