Translate


Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Story of Snow Job

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a corrupt king and his vain, power-hungry queen.

The king was notorious for his fooling around with young women who worked in the castle.
 The corrupt king greeting his subjects

It was even said that on one occasion, he had sex with a woman on his throne. The queen bore it silently while pursuing wealth, fame, and power. In her own room in the castle, she had a magic mirror. Every day, she would ask the mirror, "Mirror mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?"

And the mirror would answer, "You are, Your Highness."

As the years went by, a young prince was born. He was named Snow Job. He was a beautiful child.


As he grew older, everyone talked about his good looks and charm.




Meanwhile, things went on as normal. The king ruled, had affairs, and things went along normally. People whispered but nobody cared. The queen was aging, but every day, when she asked the mirror, "Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?", the magic mirror would dutifully respond, "You are, Your Highness." 

When Snow Job grew up to be a handsome young man, he decided to leave the castle and move to a far away town in the woods called Chikito. This town was inhabited by average folks who were just common, everyday people. You know, the little guys.

Some worked.


"Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to work we go."

Some didn't.


"Heigh ho, heigh ho............."






No matter. Snow Job worked with all of them teaching them about things he had learned in the castle and from his teachers. He taught the workers and the others that they could organize and get more money from the system. Maybe even someday, they could become powerful and maybe even take over the castle and all its riches.

Then one day, the king died. The question of succession arose. Every one assumed the queen would assume total control of the land.

But there was a stir in the land that grew and grew. Suddenly, the masses were demanding that Snow Job become the king. He promised a more just system and goodies for all.

Incredulous, the queen went to the magic mirror and asked, "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?". This time, the mirror answered, "Your Highness, Snow Job is the fairest of them all."



The queen huddled with her advisers and they suggested an election be called. The queen would win easily and nobody could complain. So an election was called, and believe it or not, Snow Job was elected king of the land. There was great celebration as everybody cheered the new king.





Well, not everybody.







Once Snow Job was coronated, there was great hope. To show there were no hard feelings, he allowed the now dowager queen to continue to reside in the castle. But he gave her an important-sounding title that kept her traveling outside of the kingdom as his goodwill ambassador, so to speak. She would travel from one kingdom to the next, where she was greeted with thinly-disguised contempt from the foreign rulers. That served to get her out of the way. All the while, the dowager queen plotted her comeback. Someday, she would claim her rightful place as ruler of her kingdom.

Someday.

The years passed. In spite of his great promises, Snow Job was becoming increasingly unpopular. Not only had things not gotten better, they had gotten worse. In addition, the king was always mandating more and more tributes from his subjects.

To make matters worse, the people sensed that Snow Job had become arrogant and imperious.



Gradually, there was great discontent in the land. Snow Job's advisers kept telling him that it was only a few discontents, who did not represent the majority of his loyal subjects.



The king's Royal Guard led by Sir Eric the Red, could keep them in check, they promised. Besides, the Royal Guard had all the weapons in the land.



Sir Eric the Red


But the discontent grew. Things started getting so bad that even some of Snow Job's most loyal followers became angry.







Even within the castle walls, there were whispers that perhaps, Snow Job should abdicate. Perhaps, the people would be happier with someone else.

But who?

http://hotair.com/archives/2011/09/16/hillary-nostalgia-peaking-in-new-bloomberg-poll/

...................................


To be continued.

3 comments:

Siarlys Jenkins said...

There goes Gary, promoting Hillary out of one side of his mouth and affirming out of the other side that Hillary in the White House would be his worst nightmare...

...in your dreams Gary, in your dreams. Have you ever thought of getting a job at Dreamworks, or are they too liberal for you?

I'm sure you knew before you posted this that the discontinuity in your attempt at fantasy is that the new president was not the son of Bill and Hill, not born or raised in the castle, and his mother was not Hillary. But what is a minor detail like that when the writer is wrapped up in admiring his own story?

Gary Fouse said...

Nitpicker. Why don't you just enjoy the parody and move on?

Siarlys Jenkins said...

In order to enjoy a parody, it has to be FUNNY. Lots of fancy graphics and a half-baked text isn't enough.

When the parody is blatantly political, the accuracy of the point it makes is also fair game.

Right Lance?