You'll be amazed at this rags to riches story of how a skinny kid named Barry (coincidence?) transformed himself to a Giant on the national stage. And what an all-star cast!
Playing Barry Bonds as a young Pirate will be none other than Barack Obama.
The role of Barry as a Giant will be the immortal Mr. T.
Barry's wife will be played by an unknown actress still to be selected, while his girlfriend........
will be played by Doris Day.
In addition, there will be cameo appearances by such stars as Arnold Schwarzenegger playing Mark McGuire.
Former New York Governor David Paterson playing Giants manager Dusty Baker.
"I never saw Barry taking steroids."
Jerry Lewis as MLB Commissioner Bud Selig.
And Milburn Stone of Gunsmoke fame playing "Doc". (He's sure to get best supporting actor in this one.)
You'll marvel watching Barry perform heroic hitting feats that Robert Redford could only dream about. You'll see Barry hit towering homers into San Francisco Bay-over the Oakland Bay Bridge. You'll sit on the edge of your seat as you watch him inch closer to all those home run records previously set by guys who munched on hot dogs and swilled beer to get that extra energy.
And all the awards. Why he even gets one from the Orange County Human Relations Commission for all the great work he has done in the community.
"Hey, Mister. What's Barry Bonds got to do with Orange County?"
Go away, kid. You bother me,
And you'll endure the pathos as evil prosecutors close in on our hero, aided by the turncoat "Doc", who cuts a deal and turns state's evidence.
Finally, the grande finale when Barry is convicted of only one count of obstructing justice as the jury is hung on the other counts, and Barry stands on the courthouse steps and proclaims, "Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth."
"Hey Mister. What about the re-trial?"
That'll be Barry 2-The Sequel.
2 comments:
You forgot to find a role for Mel "Are you a Jew?" Gibson.
Touche Gary.
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