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Sunday, October 3, 2010

State Department Terror Alert in Europe

If you are planning to travel to Europe soon, this is a piece of news you should be aware of. The State Department has issued a warning on possible terror activity in Europe.

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/10/03/text-state-department-travel-alert-americans-europe/

I am not quite sure why the alert will expire January 31, 2011 unless it is like that California lethal injection cocktail, whose drugs expired Friday last.

Also missing is........ what should we be on the lookout for? (Minor point). Who is expected to launch a terror attack? There is a reference to Al Qaida, but other than that, I guess we just have to infer from where the threat lies. Of course, other than our universities, who is more politically-correct than the State Department?

So let's see.......

If you see a German at a Berlin beer fest who has a huge bulge where his stomach is supposed to be, call the police; it just might be a bomb.


Yep. He "fits the profile".


If you see a suspicious looking Jew wearing typical Jewish orthodox garb, get as far away as you can. Notify the authorities, but do not approach on your own.

If you are in Paris and see a Frenchman looking upward and sniffing his nose, look out. It may be a signal to detonate a bomb.


Have you seen this man?


If you happen to be in Milan and come across what looks like dog-poo on the sidewalk, turn around and clear out of the area. It may be a biological weapon of mass destruction.


Italian Code Red terror alert

If you encounter a group of British soccer hooligans anywhere in Europe, join them and buy a round for them. They will protect you.

"No bomb on that guy.

If you are in Amsterdam, especially in the Zeedijk area, and you see red lights beckoning you, leave the area as soon as possible. It may be one of those "red lights" the DOS says could mean an impending terrorist attack.

The Street of Terror

That's the best I can do of providing you with a profile. I hope I don't get civil rights complaints from beer-swilling Germans, uppity Frenchmen, Italian dogs or Amsterdam hookers.

So you have been warned. You're on your own.

3 comments:

Siarlys Jenkins said...

This is the kind of stuff comedians would have been posting about the Bush administration whenever the alert level went up. In fact, many did. It was funny then. It's funny now.

However, I think a former DEA agent would understand why all the details can't be issued publicly.

"We have information that three terrorist cells at <3 addresses> in Stutgart, Lyons and Barcelona are planning ____________ on . Americans are advised to avoid these addresses in the meantime. We implore those holed up at the above mentioned safe houses to remain where you are until our investigation is complete, then we'll come to arrest you."

Is that roughly what you wanted Gary?

Gary Fouse said...

Is that what I wanted, Siarlys?

No. Again, you miss the point entirely.

Siarlys Jenkins said...

Oh? What is the point? You seem to want more detail from the State Department about the nature of the "Terror Alert." I find the whole notion of "terror alerts" rather dubious. What do you want?