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Monday, May 24, 2010

Michael Posner And the Chinese


Michael Posner


Last week, Michael Posner, one of President Obama's open borders, human rights activist appointments to the State Department, met in Washington with a Chinese delegation. A furor was raised when Posner admitted to reporters that the DOS had raised the Arizona immigration issue "early and often".

According to Fousesquawk's inside sources at the State Department, the conversation went something like this:

Mr Zhang: "Mr Posner, we would like to begin the meeting by announcing our new plan for human rights reform in China...."

Mr Posner: Human rights? You mean like that problem we have in Arizona? Let me tell you what those fascists are doing right here in Amerika."



Mr. Hsieh: "Where is Arizona?"

Mr. Posner: "Arizona is a breakaway province on our southwest border."

Mr Zhang: "Very interesting, but we are thinking about turning all of our political prisoners loose, and we would like to know what the US thinks about that."

Mr Posner: "Great, great. Anyway, like I was saying, Arizona has become a fascist state and gross violator of human rights by denying migrants the right to come across those sooo obsolete borders."

Mr Zhang: "Really? We find our border with North Korea to be quite useful. Which reminds me. We would like to work out a plan in which we can pressure those no-good North Koreans to stop their nuclear weapons production."

Mr Posner: "Great idea. Maybe we can discuss that sometime in the future. Meanwhile, we would like your advice on handling pesky provinces like Arizona. Can you tell us how you handled Tibet, for example? We could use some pointers."

Mr Hsieh: "That reminds us. We would also like to withdraw from Tibet and allow the Dalai Lama to return as their head of state. Could you arrange a three-way meeting with the President?"


Mr Posner: "Actually, the President has no time for the Dalai Lama. He is too preoccupied with that illegal law in Arizona. However, I want to assure you that as soon as we can find out where the law is unconstitutional, we will work to get it thrown out. We have our attorney general and director of Homeland Security reading the bill as we speak."

Mr Zhang: "Let us turn to economic issues. We would like to work out a deal to address the trade imbalance between our two nations. We recognize that we have been unfair and ...."

Mr Posner: "Yes, that reminds me. We are working with our counterparts in places like Kalifornia to begin an embargo and boycott of Arizona until they come to their senses. I want to assure the people of China that we are doing everything in our power to improve the human rights situation in Amerika. As soon as we get those rebel Arizonans under control, there will be no need for UN sanctions."

Mr Hsieh: "One final question, Mr Posner. We would like to establish a training program for our law enforcement officers. They need lots of training. Could your agencies provide it?"

Mr Posner: "Sure, whatever you need. We have police training academies all over Amerika. Where were you thinking of sending them?"

Mr Zhang and Mr Hsieh: "Uhh, what is the name of that province you were talking about?"

6 comments:

Siarlys Jenkins said...

Is there an official transcript available? You KNOW how these things spread on the internet. Soon Andrew Breitmann will be posting that this really happend, on the authority of Gary Fouse, who as a retired DEA agent knows all about what happens in closed State Department diplomatic meetings. Those who want to believe won't bother to check with snopes.

Gary Fouse said...

Siarlys,

Have you no sense of humor, Sir?

Siarlys Jenkins said...

I do, but I only laugh when the dialog is FUNNY.

(I also do have a penchant for analyzing humor that is presented for an overt political purpose, to assess whether the political line has any basis in fact. I'll have to dig up my "Modest Proposal" that families be weaned off welfare by selling every other child as delicacies for the tables of America's wealthiest families -- complete with a claim of racial neutrality, anticipating a demand for "white meat." You might knock it in a similar manner, and your inquiries would be, in my seldom humble opinion, fair game.)

Lance Christian Johnson said...

I like this line from Siarlys:

"I also do have a penchant for analyzing humor that is presented for an overt political purpose, to assess whether the political line has any basis in fact."

Gary, I've had a hard time explaining myself when I critique your "humor" and your response is simply, "Lighten up! It's a joke!" That's pretty much the same thing for me. If you're trying to make some political point, you don't get off easy when you misrepresent the facts simply because you're trying to be funny.

Gary Fouse said...

Lance,

Let me try again. The dialogue in my post I made up as a spoof.

It is a fact, which Posner confirmed, that Ariona was brought up early and often by the DOS in their meeting with Chinese officials.

Just what is your objection here?

Siarlys Jenkins said...

Maybe the fact that you have to post your own trained monkey to laugh at your own jokes. Its sort of like the canned laughter on early sitcoms.