The Return of Stagger Lee

"The night was clad,
and the moon was yellow..."


Remember that great Lloyd Price song in the late 1950s, "Stagger Lee"? It was about two gamblers, one of whom, Stagger Lee, lost a bet then went home and got his .44, went to a bar and shot the winner, Billy. Well according to news reports, Stagger Lee nearly played out again on Christmas-in the locker room of the Washington Wizards NBA team.

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/nba_gunpoint_R52AnT76DRgTSuVKDQ8XBO

According to the report, two players, Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton, were reportedly gambling in the Wizards' locker room, and things got heated when Arenas refused to pay off his debt, at which point, Crittenton reportedly shouted, "I'm not your punk", at which point, Arenas reportedly went to his locker and pulled a gun, at which point, Crittenton reportedly went to his locker and pulled his own gun.


I'm not sure how this was resolved without bloodshed. Perhaps, the head coach pulled his own gun and ordered them to drop their guns. Who the hell knows? "No harm, no foul", as the late-great Lakers' announcer, Chick Hearn used to say. There is no word on whether the Wizards' season will be canceled because other NBA teams are afraid to play them. I can just envision, Lakers' head case Ron Artest going off half-cocked like he does every other game and one of the Wizards blowing him to smithereens at the free throw line.


You may also recall a decade or so back when Wizards owner, Abe Pollin, changed the team name from Bullets to Wizards, claiming that his motive was to cut down on the "staggering" (no pun intended) number of shootings in the DC area. Actually, it was all about selling team merchandise. When your team name is "Bullets", it's rather difficult to come up with a catchy logo that will sell in the sports stores.

How would that look on a sweatshirt?

So now, NBA Commissioner, David Stern, has a daunting task in figuring out suitable punishment for his wayward gamblers (assuming all this is true, of course). In the meantime, he has to figure out how to make Wizards' games safe. I suggest he schedule the games at midnight.

And I also think it is time to change the name back to the Bullets. Besides, who needs a logo? Just ask the Cleveland Browns.

"Daddy, what's a brown?"

"It's a losing football team in Cleveland."