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Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Watch Out! The UN Wants to Teach Your Kid How to Masturbate!!


"What time is it, kids?"
"It's time to ___________, Uncle Bob!!"
"OK, kids, everybody take a seat."


If there ever was an example of how useless and feckless the UN is-
this is it. Now to combat the scourge of AIDS and rape that exists in
certain parts of the world, the UN wants to get all its member
countries to start early sex-ed for its children. This mandatory
program (according to the suggestion) would begin at age 5 and
would include teaching them how to masturbate. The news article is below:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,543203,00.html

Of course, this program is being run by UNESCO-that corrupt,
left-wing outfit that now has nothing better to do than teach kids
about such topics as not only masturbation, but abortion (rights),
and trans-gender awareness nonsense as well.

Of course, the UN bureaucrats at UNESCO would never stop to think
that in certain countries, sex education has been left to the parents.
Now, in a time when we have a government in Washington that is
trying to take over every aspect of our lives, we have this
international body trying to pass laws that apply to every country.
How hard do you think this administration will fight to protect our
sovreignty from the UN? Not very hard. Not that it takes a lot of
fighting to simply laugh at the UN and tell them to take their
masturbation classes elsewhere-like the middle of the Atlantic, for example.

"Ah", but my liberal friends will say, "We have mass rapes going on
in the Congo. AIDS is everywhere in Africa. We must do something!
We need to fund more programs." Here's my program:

The authorities in the Congo, Sudan and those other ass-backwards
countries can start hanging rapists publicly. Now that's what I
call effective sex education. Of course, that will never happen.
With all due respect to Ryan Jenkins, people normally don't go
hanging themselves.

As for AIDS, the basic problem is that the men in Africa aren't
wearing condoms-even though we are sending millions of them to
Africa every year. So I suggest we send all of our liberal friends
to Africa to personally put the condoms on the men before they have
sex. How's that for a solution? Where's my Nobel Prize?

"And the 2009 Nobel Prize for Common Sense goes to ............"


I could also suggest that we get out of the UN, but that's not about to happen either. Instead, we will appoint diplomats to engage in round
table discussion (no pun intended) with their UN counterparts, vote,
pass resolutions and issue 800 page reports. What a joke!

So if you see a car coming down your street with diplomatic plates, hide the kids. It just might be Uncle Bob from the UN.

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