"A lid for every pot"
Hi folks, Barney Frank here for my good friends at E-Harmony.com. You know, when you're a busy congressman like me, you can't spend all of your time screwing the people. You need to settle down and find a steady soul mate. But who has time to find one that matches your needs? That's why I count on E-Harmony.com. In fact, they've helped me find the right soul mate not once, but twice!
Remember that guy I was living with in Washington about 20 years
or so ago, Steve Gobie, who was running the male escort service out
of my DC apartment? You don't? Good. No seriously, I met him
through E-Harmony. They ran my name in their sophisticated
computer base and came up with the perfect match-a gigolo. It
really worked out great. While I was up on Capital Hill, he was
running the escort business right out of our apartment. It was
such a great arrangement, I was able to take care of all the all
the parking tickets-about 33 of them, according to Wikipedia!
That's my apartment building right there.
The other great match I got from E-Harmony was Herb Moses. Man, we went together like mozzarella and olive oil. Just so happened that Herb was a big executive with Fannie Mae in charge of all those home mortgages you were reading about last year. Me, I was sitting on the House Banking Committee overseeing Fannie Mae. I tell you no other dating service could have put a match like that together. Herb at Fannie Mae, me on the Banking Committee bringing home the bacon every night-no pun intended. And compatible? We never had a conflict of inter...., I mean conflict, heh, heh. That great arrangement lasted about ten years.
Of course, that eventually ended too, but not to worry. I've gone back to playing the field for a while and just screwing the people in my job as congressman. But when I'm ready to settle down again, I'll turn to E-Harmony again to find that perfect soul mate.
E-harmony! Because there's a lid for every pot.
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