There Goes Michael-Here Come the Ambulance Chasers

It was all so predictable. No sooner than the body is cold, here come the same old tired faces. Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, LA attorney Gloria Allred. It seems everybody is jumping in on the story that won't go away for years-a la Anna Nicole Smith. Here are examples:

Jesse Jackson, the biggest non-attorney ambulance chaser in America, is appearing with the Jackson family ("to begin the healing process", presumably), but also to join in calling for a second autopsy by a private forensic examiner on behalf of the family. That segues into Drs. Cyril Wecht and Michael Baden, who are always found on TV whenever an autopsy makes the news. No doubt one of them will wind up re-carving the famous remains. If it's Wecht, he will undoubtedly proclaim that the first autopsy was botched and Jackson may have been the victim of.......

Foul Play.

Then there is the Reverend Al Sharpton, who is all over the cable network talking about his friendship with Jackson. And don't forget Gloria Allred, LA attorney who is certain to file a lawsuit on behalf of someone who knew Jackson.

Already, Geraldo Rivera is hosting specials on Fox showing replays of his interviews with everyone in the Jackson family over the years and interviewing all those hangers-on who are blasting other hangers-on for enabling Jackson's destructive behavior.

"That's why I'm speaking out, Geraldo" (fill in the name).

And don't forget Fox's Greta van Susteran. As always, she is already on the scene broadcasting from the street in front of the house where Jackson died. (There's nothing in there, Greta.) Remember when the bride-to-be in Georgia disappeared a few years back? Greta was camped in front of her house for a week proclaiming that, "something bad has happened." It was bad, alright. The woman had gotten cold feet and hopped a bus for Vegas, while Greta was asking, "Where is....?"

We'd better get used to it. With the investigation sure to come into the doctor who was present when Jackson died, there is the Jackson estate to carve up and fight over, the three kids to fight over, the lawsuits- I mean, we all saw the template when Anna Nicole Smith keeled over from years of drug use. The cable talk shows are set for the next two years.

And Iran? Can you say page 23?