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Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Governor Katzenjammer Wants to Tax Marijuana


"Hey Tom, hast du den "Graz" gebracht?"
(Translation: "Hey Tom, dit U brink de graz?")



With Propositions 1A-F appearing to be going down in flames, Kalifornia's own Governor Katzenjammer is desperately looking for sources of new revenue for his bankrupt state. So desperate in fact that he is looking at legalization of marijuana.

Arnold is reacting positively to a proposed by San Francisco Democrat Tom Ammiano that would legalize the drug for those over 21 and assess a tax of $50 per ounce. This, according to Ammiano, would bring $1.3 billion a year. That's a lot of pot smokers, but then, this is California.

"Es ist time fuer debate", said Katzenjammer during a news conference yesterday in the university town of Davis in response to a question from a reporter.

Where is Davis, you ask?

You don't want to know.

What university is there, you ask?

Again, you don't want to know.

Katzenjammer continued, " I zink ve vant to look at all dat."

Of course, Katzenjammer spokeshole Aaron McLear later "clarified" the governor's statement saying that he (Katzenjammer) "was drawing on his conversations with officials in Europe", including a cop in his hometown of Graz, Austria (that's Austrian for grass).

Of course, it's always a great idea to emulate Europe.

Needle Park, Zuerich


At the risk of jumping on the bandwagon, I propose an even better idea: Since cocaine and heroin are so much more expensive than marijuana per ounce, why don't we legalize and tax those substances too? I figure using Ammiano's figures, we could earn say, 50 billion annually for coke taxes and 75 billion for heroin taxes.

What brilliant idea will come out of Sacramento next?

2 comments:

Ingrid said...

Gary, I thought Graz wasn't speaking to Arnold anymore since he returned the ring the city had given him. They were upset with him because he doesn't overturn the death penalty in California.
Anyway, drugs are being used whether they are legal or not. Legalizing them would take the middleman out, stop the smuggle and all the ensuing crime, and would bring money to the states. Do you think the drug problem could get any worse if drugs were legal? Aren't there any needle parks in California? Of course there are.
I don't know why you are picking on Davis. My daughter graduated from there.

Gary Fouse said...

Ingrid,

Just having some fun here. Yes, I do think the drug problem would get worse if drugs were legal. England tripled its addict population when they started providing heroin to addicts decades ago. They discontinued it. As for legalizing drugs taking out the dealers, do you really think they will go away quietly? They will probably start their own black market. Plus, where do you draw the lines as to what kind of drug is legal, age limit, who can produce it and distribute it? Do we really want the govt providing drugs? I think the legalization forces have not really stop to sort this all out.

Of course, with my dea experience, I am quite realistic about the prospects of actually winning the "war on drugs".