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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Keith Olbermann's Last Meal



Last night, quite by accident, I flipped on MSNBC and caught the last half of Keith Olbermann's failing show, "Countdown". With all that is going on in the world today and Barack Obama about to take office, one might have thought that Krazy Keith would be starting to introduce new acts into his freak show.

One might think again.

Like a condemned man enjoying his last meal, there was tired old Keith blasting away at President Bush again, this time dissecting the President's news conference. To help him along, there was the exquisite looking Newsweek editor, Richard Wolffe joining in on the fun. I seriously suspect Wolffe sleeps at the MSNBC studio so Keith can pull him off the shelf every night. I have no idea if Eugene (Chuckles) Robinson of the Washington Post had appeared earlier in the show, but if I had to bet my mortgage, I would say he had.

Then there was George Washington University law professor Jonathan Turley, who is actively feeding into Keith's sexual fantasy of having Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and all the CIA officers who water boarded people like the poor terrorist Khalid Sheikh Mohammed to be sent to The Hague-or maybe even Nuremberg as war criminals. The learned professor has already pronounced them guilty, in fact.

Why that poor Mr Mohammed probably even came down with a cold.

Then, to show that Keith has not lost his touch, he bestowed yet another "Worst Person in the World" award to his pal, Bill O'Reilly (silver, I believe). Talk about holding grudges. I remember when I was in high school, and some guy sad bad things about my girlfriend. I was so mad I beat him up-twice, in fact. But, hey! That was almost 50 years ago. I have let it go.

So Keith, maybe he did steal your high school sweetheart or something like that, but let it go, pal. Your obsession with O'Reilly makes you look like a total jerk. Besides, to O'Reilly, you don't even exist. He never even mentions your name.

Finally, Keith, there is so much going on in the world, and your hero Obama will be on the scene next week to clean it all up, so it's time to bring in a few new acts.

"Goodnight, Keith."

3 comments:

Lance Christian Johnson said...

Could be worse, he could keep making references to William Ayers.

Ha! Zing!

Findalis said...

Maybe his obsession with Bill O'Reilly is due to the fact that O'Reilly's ratings are way higher than his could ever be.

If it wasn't so pathetic I'd laugh.

Gary Fouse said...

Lance,

Keith has probably never heard of William Ayres.