Random Shots in the Dark (6)

So OJ Simpson was convicted last night by a Las Vegas jury. His attorney, Yale Galanter, says the verdict was "payback" and plans to appeal. Simpson's sister was crying in the courtroom when the verdict was announced. She might want to ask the Goldman family how to deal with the grief. Of course, there is the complaint that there were no African-Americans on the jury. Advice to OJ: If you want black jurors, you'd better commit your next crime someplace with a sizable black population. Of course, there might not be a "next time", heh, heh.

I see Bill Clinton rode the "Love Jet" down to Orlando last week to entertain an Obama rally. I guess Hillary wasn't there. No seats on the plane available, if you know what I mean. Explaining why Obama should be elected, Bill gave a bunch of vague platitudes like,

"He has a better plan."
"He has a better understanding..."
"He has a better philosophy."
"He has better economic advisers."
(like Franklin Raines and Jim Johmson?)

Clinton also pointed out that many of Obama's advisers were his advisers as well. That's reassuring. It reminds me of the famous Don Imus speech (in front of Bill and Hillary)in which he described watching Clinton's cabinet enter the Senate chambers for a state-of-the union speech as similar to going to the circus and watching the clowns come piling out of the Volkswagen.

I also wonder how any audience can listen to Clinton without wondering: "Is he telling us the truth, for once?"

Is Chris Matthews overtaking Keith Olbermann as TV's most biased commentator? After the Palin-Biden debate, he did nothing but unload on Palin. I thought he had been demoted by MSNBC from such events. It sure looked like he was moderating the discussion group.

If there are 300 people missing in Galveston from Hurricane Ike, why is there so little publicity about this compared to Katrina?

As a long-suffering Cub fan of 46 years, I guess tonight will be the night we are put out of our misery till next year-or next century. Don't believe in curses? Maybe you have a better explanation for Cub futility. (Update: Well, you know.)

Wouldn't it be great if the Cincinnati Bengals traded big mouth receiver Chad (Ocho-Cinco) Johnson to some team who has retired number 85? What would he do then? Change his name to his new number? How about Ocho-Zero?

If this bailout bill was so necessary to save the American economy, why did they have to fill it up with millions in earmarks? Speaking of which, Lavatory Larry Craig-who is still in the Senate-managed to get some of his earmarks added.

If I hear the phrase "Main Street" one more time, I'm gonna flip out and take hostages.

North Korea has announced that "Dear Dictator" Kim Jong Il, rumored to be gravely ill, attended a soccer match yesterday. Where was the soccer match-in his hospital room? And who in North Korea has the energy to play soccer in the first place besides the army?

I see Ted Stevens is trying to mix attending his corruption trial in Washington with campaigning in Alaska. And you thought Palin couldn't handle campaigning with her family. Maybe if Stevens is convicted, he'll ask the judge to send him to a prison in Alaska-so he can continue to serve as Senator.

Speaking of which, is William "Cold Cash" Jefferson still in Congress?

Anything new on the UN's "drive" to stop the genocide in Darfur? Tom Tancredo thinks we should get the UN out of the US. I agree. Right now, that building is about as useless as Shea Stadium.

If I were John McCain, my next campaign ad would be Sandra Bernhard's ugly mug trashing Sarah Palin.

And Matt Damon thinks Palin's candidacy is like "a bad Disney movie." Well, Damon ought to know a bad movie when he sees one. My son was watching a movie on TV today with Damon portraying a Viet Nam soldier. What a joke and insult. Sort of like that Pearl Harbor movie where the obnoxious loudmouth Alec Baldwin was portraying General Jimmy Doolittle. They might as well have chosen Angelina Jolie to play the World War II hero. But that's Hollywood.

Speaking of Hollywood, San Francisco's outlaw mayor, Gavin Newsome, back from his honeymoon in Africa with some "starlet" he married, is now "starring" in a campaign ad for proponents of Proposition 8, the measure that would stop gay marriage in California. In the ad, Newsome is taunting those who are against gay marriage by yelling,

"It's gonna happen-whether ya like it or not."

Smart move.

One thing that "isn't gonna happen" is a Cubs pennant.

Well, that's it for this time. Now I'll lay the shovel down, take the rest of the month off and wait for it to pile up again. Here in California, that's faster than snow in Siberia.