California Justice

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous-Lindsay Lohan



Southern California commuters had more bulletins to catch on their afternoon crawl back home from work this afternoon. One after another, we were treated to breaking news on our local "celebrities" going to jail-and leaving as fast as you can say-Nicole Ritchie.

First item, Nicole Ritchie, that legendary, uh....uh...., well, celebrity sidekick of Paris Hilton, who is a ....., well, never mind! Anyway, Nicole Ritchie surrendered herself to the long arm of the law in LA today to begin serving a 96 hour jail term for drunk driving. (Drunk driving in LA is our 2nd leading sport, after high-speed car chases. Who needs the NFL?). So while Ms Ritchie was serving her 96 hour sentence, guess what happened? She was released after 82 minutes! All according to the Federal guidelines, due to "overcrowding" according to jail spokeshole, Deputy Maribel Rizo, who added that Ms Ritchie was treated just like every other inmate. When asked if Ms Ritchie spent the 82 minutes in a jail cell, Ms Rizo replied, "I have no further comment."

Makes one wonder if Ms Ritchie spent her 82 minutes of "hell" having cocktails with LA's "Sheriff to the Stars", Lee Baca.

Then there is Lindsey Lohan, star of the latest smash movie, "I married a Pedophile Elephant", or something like that. Remember a few weeks back, driving 100 mph on Pacific Coast Highway, chasing another car, running over someone's foot, drunk, cocaine in her pants pocket? Well that's all been settled now. Ms Lohan has now been ordered to spend one day in Lee Baca's "jail" after pleading no contest to cocaine possession and drunk driving. Using the sliding scale used for Ritchie, that should figure to about 20 minutes, hardly enough time to clink glasses with "The Sheriff to the Stars". Well, looking at it objectively, I guess the prosecutor was unable to prove that the "black guy" wasn't really driving and that those really were Lohan's pants where the cocaine was found-even though she was wearing them! You know, reasonable doubt and such.

But the really big crime-buster story in LA this week was the capture of notorious illegal alien, Elvira Arellano, who left her fortress sanctuary at the Adalberto United Methodist Church in Chicago to go on the road crusading for "immigration reform"-translated: abolishing all immigration requirements. Showing up at the Church of Our Lady of Angels in LA, which is under the rule of Cardinal Don Corleone Mahony, she was quickly snapped up by ICE, and faster than you can say Tony Villar, was shoved across the border at Tijuana. There she sits at this writing, being treated as the new patron saint of Mexico, the new Mother Teresa, the new Rosa Parks, serenaded and courted by the leaders of that plundered nation, who don't have the time nor inclination to better the lives of their citizens so that they might stay there. Now the Mexican Senate in Mexico City is passing a resolution to ask President Felipe Calderon to pass a diplomatic note to the US complaining about the fact that one of their citizens was deported for being in the country illegally. Of course, LA's rolling stone mayor, Tony Villar, could do little more than "express his concern", before getting back to the business of the people- filling potholes and other orifices. (Remember, LA is a sanctuary city.)

Not to be outdone, our activists in LA are planning another big demonstration this coming Saturday to protest the deportation and the failure of the US Government to pass "Comprehensive Immigration Reform". (Apparently, there will be no concurrent protest to demand reform in Mexico of all the corruption that causes Mexico's poor to leave in the first place.)

But if those of you in other parts of the country think that we have no control over crime in the Golden State-think again! You may not know it, but we have Jerry Brown as our Attorney General. Remember our former Governor Moonbeam? He is now the state's top crime-buster bringing terror into the hearts of all the corporate environmental polluters, who he is threatening with lawsuits up the yazoo. What about the killers, rapists, robbers et al? Small fish.