Chris Matthews
(It's Green Week at MSNBC.)
Hello, I'm Chris Matthews here to make a public service announcement for the Restless Legs Syndrome Foundation. If you suffer from this insidious disease, you are not alone. I am also a victim of RLS. I am here to tell you that there is hope on the horizon.
Although there is no known cure for RLS, important research is being carried out by the RLS Foundation. (Yes, there is a RLS Foundation. It is somewhere in Minnesota.)Preliminary studies suggest that there may be a connection between RLS and President Barack Obama.
"Hi Chris."
(Darn, there it goes again.)
In fact, a recent study (at the University of California at Irvine) indicates that 93% of RLS sufferers voted for Obama for president. The same study indicated that of the other 7%, three-fourths of those were racists. That's not all. A recent study at UC Santa Cruz (America's wackiest university) proved conclusively that human beings have two legs-unlike the banana slug-UCSC's mascot.
But I'm digressing, aren't I?
With my RLS, I have found that it always recurs when I see President Obama on TV and hear him give one of his marvelous speeches.
(I can feel the tingling now.)
My doctor has suggested that whenever President Obama comes on TV, that I should turn the TV off. Trouble is I can't turn it off. I am the TV.
Currently, the Government Health Bill now in the Senate would provide 45 billion dollars for RLS research. And if you are lucky enough to live in Louisiana, your state is slated to get the biggest chunk of that-as long as your senator, Mary Landrieu, votes for the bill, that is.
So if you suffer from RLS, see your doctor. And please donate to the RLS Foundation. The leg you save may be your own.
Thank you.
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