Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Announcing the Fousesquawk Terror Lottery!

Here it is, Fousequawkers. I am announcing the Fousesquawk Terror Lottery-your chance to win millions in cash. All you have to do is guess where the next Islamic terrorist attack will take place. If it's in your city, you win!!!

Here's how you enter:

All you need to enter is a wall map of the world, a dart and a blindfold. All you need to do is pin the map of the world on a wall, blindfold yourself, and throw the dart. Where it lands is your lucky location. Send in the name of the town along with five dollars to Fousesquawk at the address that appears on this site.

"But Mr Fousesquawk, what if the dart lands in the middle of the ocean?"

No problem. You still have a chance. Don't forget those Somali pirates. That counts too.

The size of the jackpot grows every day until there's a lucky winner.

So what are you waiting for? Islamic terror attacks are happening every day. The chances of winning are endless. Send in your entry with $5. There is no limit to the number of entries you can send in.

Who knows? Maybe soon that Fousesquawk Penguin will arrive at your doorstep with that big check.

Offer not valid in France, Belgium or Germany. Terrorists, suicide bombers or their families may not participate. 


Miggie said...

Geat idea! You take Mongolian Tughriks?

Gary Fouse said...

Hard currency only, please.

Squid said...

Next question: Do I send the hard cash on a pallet, delivered by an unmarked plane?


Gary Fouse said...

Depends on the number of entries you send in. (Remember-5 bucks per entry).

I hope the Dept of Homeland Security or DOJ aren't taking this seriously. They may open up a case on me. They have a lot of free time since they won't prosecute Hillary.

Siarlys Jenkins said...

Gary, I know I haven't been around for a while, but I've been reading down a long list of posts, and this is the first one I've seen that had ANY comments. I left a few just to make you feel better. And hey, the Cubs are still on top.

Gary Fouse said...

I feel better already. Especially since the Cubs are on top.