Celebrity Endorsements: Tim Geithner for Chevy Volt

                                                                                                       

                                                                                             

Guess which one is me?


Hey folks! Tim Geithner here, you know, Rachel Maddow's twin brother and Secretary of the Treasury (what's left of it). Like we do in every other aspect of your miserable lives, I'm here to tell you what car to buy. That would be a Chevy Volt. In the below picture, you can see President Obama, my boss, trying to squeeze his lanky frame into a Chevy Volt. Don't be alarmed; he's just forgotten how to get behind the wheel of a car these days.





"How do you adjust this damn seat?"


Now this is why you need to buy a Volt: First, because the government is pushing it. It's Green you know. (Other colors are available.) Second, because the government is running GM.

Government Motors.

But here is the best reason: Thanks to the government, you can save over 50% of the cost of building the Volt. No, I didn't say 50% off the ticket price. I said 50% off the cost of building this mini-monster. That's because it costs $89,000 to build one Chevy Volt, but the cost to you is $40,000.

"Ah wunnerful, ah wunnerful, ah."

Here's how it works. Instead of running off to the gas station to feed those evil oil barons, all you do is plug it into your nearest electrical outlet, whether in your garage, or kitchen, bedroom or bathroom. That's because the Volt fits anywhere you go.

Amazing!!

And waiting at the gas pump isn't the only line you will avoid. There will be virtually no lines at your auto dealer. That's because nobody is buying the Volt. That's why my friends at the White House have asked me to do this little promo here, heh heh.

Any why me and not someone like Joe Biden or Kathleen Sibelius? That's because as Secretary of the Treasury, I am an expert when it comes to dollars and sense, er cents. Did you know that before I entered President Obama's cabinet, I won the IRS' Golden Audit award when I saved $34,000 by using Turbo Tax-another great product which I have endorsed on Fousesquawk?

"Yeh, I did."

And don't worry about those rumors about the Volt's batteries catching on fire. That's just part of the Romney campaign of lies. His old man ran the American Motors Corporation. They made the Nash Rambler if I'm not mistaken. And you know what happened to the Nash. It looked like a Volt and went the way of the Volt.

                                                                                                             

So what the Hell are you waiting for? Get up off your ass, and go buy and Volt. Then get back down on your ass and wait for that government check signed by me.

 But wait!

If you buy a Volt now, you can get two Volts, heh heh, what I mean is, we'll reduce the price to an unheard of $31,000.

So call now to get the location of your nearest Chevy Volt dealer. Operators are standing by.