Is Harry Reid Finished?

"He looks so peaceful."

"Yes. Almost as if he were asleep."

(Apologies to Henry Waxman for blocking out his haaandsome face.)


Let's be honest. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is not the most charismatic guy in the world. Far from it. When Reid walks into a room, the paint on the walls starts peeling, flowers die, babies cry and dogs growl. Even Nancy Pelosi cringes when Reid puts his arm around her.

Yet, this guy has risen to the top of the Senate. Just goes to prove that old adage about things that rise to the top.

Now, it looks like Reid is nearing the end of his Senate career and about to embark on his new career as a lobbyist. (You heard it here first.) Facing an election next fall, Reid's poll numbers show him some 30 points behind his Republican competitor-whoever that is. Hell, a recent poll even showed Reid lagging behind that other famous Nevada resident, O.J. Simpson, were he to declare his candidacy. (Just kidding.)

The fact is with Reid leading a Democratic majority and a far-left president in office, the public has finally realized what a shifty-deal-making goof Reid really is. The nation has spoken rather loudly and clearly on the subject of health reform, yet Reid is still scheming to ram this deal down our throats because-or rather- if he can. Hell, he's the parliamentary expert, he has the majority and if there's a way to do it, he's gonna do it, by golly. Buy off a couple of senators with sweetheart deals that apply only to their states? Let's do it (Louisiana-Nebraska). Change the procedure to get that 51 vote majority instead of that pesky 60-vote majority? (Reconciliation). Let's do it. What we have here is a deal-maker-and not much else.

Of course, ten months is a long time in the electoral process, and things could change between now and November. More deals could be made, ACORN could escape its, uh, legal predicament in Nevada, and thus, be freed up to uh, shall we say register enough people to vote for Reid, and voila! Another great victory for the Democrats. Hopefully, the sparsely-inhabited state of Nevada doesn't have enough cemeteries to produce enough voters for Reid. Of course, they could always round up all those guys on the Vegas streets who pass out porn flyers to passers-by. They could make the difference, you know.

But if things continue along their present trend, which I think they will, Harry Reid will take his deal-making skills to Washington's famed red-light district on K Street* come 2011, helping out his sons who are already DC lobbyists. (You didn't think he was going back to Searchlight, Nevada, did you?)

What, you say? He would have to wait two years or something like that, according to the law? Silly me. Reid will have to call himself a "consultant". Pardon my goof.

*K Street- Where many of Washington's lobby firms are located.