Pristina, Kosovo
Hey folks! Fousesquawk here to introduce Europe's newest tourist destination-Pristina, Kosovo. That's right. Now that they have unveiled the sparkling new gold-sprayed Bill Clinton Monument, you'll need to book your reservations early to avoid the upcoming summer rush.
But since you have obviously never been to Pristina-unless you are a military vet, you'll need directions to find your way to the Clinton Monument. Here you go. Write this down.
After arriving at the Paula Jones Airport, you exit right onto the Hillary Highway into town. (or you can take the Low Road. It's all the same.) Make a right hand turn on Ken Starr Street and proceed a couple of miles passing the Monica Mall on your left. At this point, you'll find yourself right smack dab in the Government quarter. On your left, you will see the former Palace of Justice-now the Palace of Perjury. It sits right across from the former Ministry of Justice-now re-named the Ministry of Obstruction of Justice-in Clinton's honor of course
"I don't think that's funny."
There are also other interesting government buildings in the area, like the Bureau of Bribery and Federal Pardon Office under the Finance Ministry. As you exit the government quarter, there are some great Chinese restaurants you might want to visit while in town, like Charlie Trie's or Johnny Chung's. Keep going straight until you see Podesta Plaza.
"I don't think that's funny."
Go around the plaza 8 or 9 times then bear left on K Street (for Kosovo). If you get lost, just stop and ask one of the K Street whores for directions. (That's what Alan Grayson does when he's in town.) Actually, you will see it by then, towering above the rooftops and skyline. Don't worry about parking. There are plenty of interns to park your car.
"Now that's funny."
Behold! The Clinton Monument!
("Looks like the're hangin' him.")
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