Hi! I'm Barack Obama, and I am here to tell you all about Ancestry.com. If you have ever wanted to find out about your family and discover who you really are, you need to go to Ancestry.com today.
I got into Ancestry.com about 15 years ago when I started writing the first of my two autobiographies before I ever became famous. You won't believe the things I found out about myself. For example, I was able to actually find a copy of my birth certificate in Ancestry.com along with the newspaper announcement. Prior to that, I had no idea where I was born or what religion I was.
I also discovered some other facts buried deep in the past of my family. For example, everybody knows that my father was born in Kenya, but little did I know that I had several half-brothers and half-sisters still living in Kenya, including one who is living today in a corrugated tin shack with no electricity or water. Imagine that! Even more astounding, I discovered a long-lost aunt living illegally in the US-in Boston of all places!
As for my dear old Dad, I also learned that President John F Kennedy personally gave him a student visa so he could come to study in the US, found someone to watch over his sheep for him while he was gone, and even introduced him to my Mom.
Ancestry.com even has information on your friends, like the gal from Tulsa I dated in college, who unbeknownst to me, was actually from Australia. (I never was very good on nationalities.) They even had information about my pastor that I had never known like some of his crazy statements in his Sunday church sermons. Hell, I once knew a guy in the neighborhood, whose house I visited once (when I was running for state senator). Only through Ancestry.com did I learn that this guy in the neighborhood had been a terrorist and fugitive back in those crazy 60s. Ancestry.com even contains all my college grades.
Imagine that!
And you won't believe this. Ancestry.com even had copies of documents of when I bought a home in Chicago and got a great deal on the price.
But this is the best of all. In Ancestry.com, you can actually edit your information, make corrections, add or delete information about yourself.
To introduce you to Ancestry.com, I am making this special offer available to everyone in the country. I have just issued an executive order that everyone in the US must purchase Ancestry.com or pay a
1 comment:
We're waiting for Gary to say something plausible enough to be funny.
Anyway, my local public library has Ancestry.com. I've found some of my Jenkins ancestors in Wales, then in Pennsylvania.
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