Superman-Oregon Style

While on the treadmill this morning, I happened to catch a report on Fox News about this pamphlet that the Portland (OR) Police have been handing out in 4th grade classes in the city's elementary schools. (What-did you think I saw it on CNN?)

Yes, folks, the Portland PD, in concert with local elementary schools, has been handing out "Operation Safe Summer Guide 2010", full of cartoons of our favorite super-heroes and tips on how to stay out of trouble this summer. Sounds innocuous enough, but it's one of the back pages that has parents in an uproar. It's chock full of laws on Oregon's sex laws with in-depth descriptions of such "elementary" terms as sodomy and other legal goodies.

So now, in addition to "you better not pull on Superman's cape", it's...

"You better not ^%$#@$^ your *&%$^&$ in Superman's &^$&#.

That's right.

Let me see. When I was in the 4th grade, I was.....9 years old. Of course, the way things are now, I figure those 4th grade kids are anywhere from 12-15. Still, it seems a little bit over the top to me. Why can't parents explain to their own kids what they can and cannot do to Superman?



Of course, the police department and the schools are falling all over themselves trying to explain their gaffe.

"Well, it is really intended for the parents"- even though the school gave them to the kids to take home from school.

"Now kids, take this straight home to Mommy and Daddy and don't look inside, promise?"

"Riiiiight."

But there is good news. At the rate our public schools are going, I figure in another few years those 4th grade pupils will 18 years old and old enough to read for themselves all the cool things they can and cannot do to Superman (even though they'll still be in the 4th grade).