"What, me worry?
Had McCain won-American Embassy in France
"Welcome to the UK, Fousesquawk. Long live America!"
"Welcome to France, Fousesquawk"
"Another round of beer for our American friend"
Now that we have elected Barack Obama, a lot of my friends are asking me what I am going to do now-as if they think I am going to cut my wrists or move to Newfoundland.
Don't worry. Things are great. I always look on the bright side. For starters, the World loves us Americans again.
For example, next year, I plan to go back to my old stomping grounds in Germany and drink liters-many liters- of that fabulous beer. What's more, Germans will be lining up by the hundreds to buy the next liter for me since "I am an American". And I shall proudly accept them all in the name of my country.
I may even hit a few other countries to bask in the adulation that will greet American tourists over there. In fact, there was a piece in the Yahoo news about "no more ugly Americans". Just think, Frenchmen and French women will be throwing flowers at my feet as I walk down the middle of the Champs De L'Elysee (which will be closed off by the French gendarmes for my sole benefit). As I near the Place de la Concorde, near which the American Embassy is located, I can breathe a sigh of relief that McCain wasn't elected, which surely would have led to said embassy being burned to the ground. But it's all a mute point now. We are loved again.
Of course, I could head down to Italy, where I used to live when Republican presidents like Reagan were in power. Surely, Silvio Berlusconi will greet me and take me to some resort on the Italian Riviera, where we can work on our tans.
Maybe I could even take a Greek cruise. While I am there, I can be interviewed by that Greek newspaper, Avriani, and tell them that, yes, Jewish domination is over-just as their headlines blared on election night.
I might even hop up to merry old England and tip a pint with some of the local beastie boys, that is if the wacko Islamist community, that seems to be taking over, hasn't shut down the pubs yet.
Of course, I may have to lie a little-like tell them how I woke up at the crack of dawn to be the first in my neighborhood to vote for "The One". I can also tell them all about my blog (the Daily Kos), which tirelessly supported Obama from day one.
Or even better, I can tell them that I am a writer for the New York Times or that I am one of Keith Olbermann's inner circle of regular Bush-hating guests on his nightly "Meltdown".
And when I return from my grande tour of the Old World, I will pass through Customs and Immigration and probably find that my name is in the computer as a "dissident", "rootless cosmopolitan", "counter-progressive", hate-monger", or some such thing, at which point, I will be whisked off to Harvard University for "re-education" and a PHD!
Yes, indeed. It is truly a great time to be an American.
12 comments:
You know, I was smiling through this whole thing, but I have a real problem with the following:
I will be whisked off to Harvard University for "re-education" and a PHD!
This is something that I find to be very troublesome amongst conservatives - the notion that somehow it's bad to be educated. After all, if people who are more educated disagree with you, then the problem must be education, not you. I mean, having a Harvard PHD is something to mock? Seriously? What's next - taking people to task for "book learnin'"?
Haha, funny!
Lance,
I am a firm believer in education. The problem with way too many of our universities is that in lieu of education, students are getting indoctrination.
And Harvard is a classic example.
Sorry I ruined your weekend.
Well, you hardly ruined my weekend.
You know, the thing is with this whole "indoctrination" thing, I don't want to just wave my hand and completely dismiss it, but I'm very skeptical of it at the same time.
It reminds me of when I was a kid, and I had an attitude regarding homosexuals that was...well, how can I say it? A little less enlightened than what it is now. When I went to college, I got to know a lot of gay people, and I started to see things differently. When I spoke with people who still saw things the way that I used to, they told me that I had been "brainwashed" when in fact, I had really been unbrainwashed.
And I wonder if that's what the thing is with this whole "indoctrination" thing. So-called conservatives think that certain things are true mainly because they like to say that certain things are true. When people learn a little something and discover that those things are bunk, then the conservatives claim that they've been "indoctrinated."
I guess nobody wants to deal with the fact that sometimes education (not indoctrination or brainwashing) tends to lead people away from certain "conservative" beliefs.
Don't get me wrong, we shouldn't go to the other extreme and simply accept whatever somebody who's educated says. Still, I'd trust a Harvard PHD over Sarah Palin any day of the week!
I could write for days about university indoctrination. One point I want to make is that students in universities today are getting a steady stream of why America is bad instead of why America is great.
You cannot deny that universities today are solidly in the hands of the left. How many conservatives are there even teaching in universities?
I could start listing all the lefties who are or have been teaching in universiites today and go on forever.
Ward Churchill
Bill Ayres
Bernadine Dohrn
Norman Finklestein
Angela Davis
Ron Karenga
Rashid Khalidi
Sami al Arian..................
I'm getting sleepy. You get the point.
Gary, we're taught why America is great for our entire K through 12 education. I think it's fine to learn some of the not so great things about our country, think critically about things, and make it a better place.
Also, I was hoping now that the election was over I'd never have to see the name Bill Ayers again. Damn you for proving me wrong!
How many conservatives are there even teaching in universities?
But why is that, Gary? Is it some sinister plot at the hands of our Liberal Overlords?
While I know that there are definitely some conservatives at my school (not a university, I know, but bear with me) most of us seem to be pretty left-leaning. Why is that? I can tell you, I never received any marching orders when I was hired, and nobody asked me my political preferences when I interviewed.
What is it about education that attracts more left-leaning people than right-leaning people? Why is it that one of the demographics that was more likely to vote for Obama was people who have college degrees? Why are people who are less educated more likely to vote for the Republicans?
Don't get me wrong, I am well aware that it would be a logical fallacy to then conclude, "Educated people are liberal, therefore liberalism is the smart way to go." Still, it's something that conservatives don't seem to like talking about all that much, because there isn't really any way to make themselves look good without going into convoluted conspiracy theories.
While this certainly isn't true on every issue, sometimes universities are accused of left-leaning "indoctrination" when it comes to certain issues. Of course, the one issue that concerns me the most is the teaching of evolution. Somehow, it's considered "leftist" to teach that, when politics has nothing to do with it - unless you want to start calling facts "liberal". (If that's the case, then I'm somewhat left of Che Guevara.)
And regarding teaching that America is "bad," I feel that's a bit of a strawman. Personally, I don't want our universities churning out people who are blindly patriotic. People should be taught the facts - whether they make America look good or bad. From there, people should be able to make up their own minds.
Personally, I don't even like saying that America is great. Why? Because it's too simple - too narrow for something that's so complex. Are there things about America that make me fiercely proud? Absolutely. Are there things that make me ashamed? I'm afraid so. The thing is, I love my country in spite of the bad stuff - because what's so good about it transcends all of that.
I'm a product of the liberal education system, and instead of saying "America is great" or "America is bad", you get a far more nuanced answer - something that conservatives don't seem to like.
Bryan/Lance,
I will try to answer this together.
If you have followed my blogs, I have never tried to cover up the sins of American history. Specifically, I have freely admitted our history of slavery, segregation and discrimination. I have never argued that American was or is perfect.
Yet, I still maintain that our universities today are a bastian of leftist ideology that over-emphasizes the bad side of America.
Why is that? Why are so there many leftists vs conservatives in American universities? It could be that there are those who choose to go out in the world and make their lives, their livlihoods, their careers in the real world. And there are those who get their university degrees, get their masters, their PHDs then become professors. Which group do you think are more inclined to the left?
Yes, I am a teacher at a university, albeit an adjunct teaching ESL. But I didn't join that profession until I was 50 years old. I spent an entire career in the real world-with all that entails. What I know comes first from my life then from books.
(and I have read thousands of books-even when I was a DEA agent. I love to read.)
But to make this short-to argue that there is no ideological bent to the left in universities is to argue that there is no ideological bent in the media or Hollywood.
Sure we should present both sides of our society and history to our students. But it seems to me that students-at least when they get to college-are being taught that America is a deeply flawed country.
With all our flaws, no other country could have made the changes we have made in the last 40years as America. Classic example-the Civil Rights Movement.
Also remember one other thing, which I think is relevant today. How many countries in the world do you think would be free today were it not for the USA-specifically, the American military?
Personally, I am sick of the thousands of university professors around the country who have no respect for their own country, and I will continue to confront them.
No, if you don't mind, I will have a glass of tequila and go to bed.
Gary, you're being transparent when you write things like this:
It could be that there are those who choose to go out in the world and make their lives, their livlihoods, their careers in the real world. And there are those who get their university degrees, get their masters, their PHDs then become professors.
How is teaching at a university any less the "real world" than any other profession? A phrase like that is insulting - kind of like Palin's "real America" comments.
Yet another reason why I can never identify with the modern "conservative" movement - contempt for education.
Again, you are confusing my contempt for indoctrination with contempt for education. I teach education.
The point I am trying to make is that most of these phds have learned most of what they know from books and other professors as opposed to true life experiences, which many of them do not bring to the classroom. For MANY of these twits, their whole ideas of the world have been gleened from Descartes or Marx or Che Guevara.
You're ignoring some of my points though, Gary. While I'm personally against indoctrination myself, oftentimes education is confused with that, as sometimes when you're educated you tend to get rid of certain preconceived, "conservative" notions.
You know, like finding out that all the evidence points to the Earth being billions, rather than thousands, of years old. I realize that you're not a young-earth creationist, but would you consider that indoctrination? Pointing out the facts even though they contradict a lot of people's religious beliefs?
What if the facts have a liberal bias?
No Lance,
I have nothing against science. In fact the physical sciences are one of the last sane departments in universities. The problem is in the humanities. The indoctrination I am talking about is professors telling their students that America is a racist, imperialistic country, the military is bad, the Republicans and conservatives are evil people who want to bring back slavery, starve babies, bomb the world and throw little old ladies out on the streets. That is what Im talking about-not whether the world is billions of years old or thousands of years old. Heck, as far as I'm concerned, the earth is only 63 years old. (Which, I guess means I can never run for VP lest Mr Johnson come crawling out of the woodwork for a MSNBC exclusive.)
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