Thursday, December 26, 2013
The Godfather Part 10
Podesta
It was a cold December morning when the driver pulled into the driveway of the Podesta home in a Washington suburb and honked the horn. Inside, Podesta put on his overcoat and headed for the door.
"Tell the driver to be careful when he backs outta the driveway," Podesta's wife called out from the kitchen. The next door neighbor's kid might be riding his bike to school."
"Yeah, yeah," Podesta answered in an annoyed tone.
"And don't forget the cannolis."
Podesta climbed into the car.
"Drive," he ordered.
"Where to?" asked the driver.
"Downtown. We gotta pick up some mattresses for the Godmother. Head for that Sit and Sleep joint."
"What does she need with mattresses?" asked the driver with a puzzled look on his face.
"They're for Bill."
"Oh. Got it."
The car backed out of the driveway and started down the street.
"Hey. I think I hit something," said the driver as he began to hit the brake.
"Just keep driving."
Podesta was an old and trusted henchman for the Godmother and her family. They had all come up together on the mean streets of Chicago. When the family moved its operations to Washington, they brought him along. He was known as the fixer.
After visiting the mattress store and ordering 20 mattresses sent to the Godmother's house (and getting them for freeeeeee, of course).....
Podesta told the driver to stop by an Italian restaurant where he always ate lunch.
"Wait here."
Podesta walked into the restaurant alone and sat at a table. The waiter came over to take his order.
"Gimme a plate of rigs with meatballs."
"E da bere?" asked the waiter. (And to drink?)
"Un po di rosso." (Red)
"Subito," answered the waiter (which in Italian, usually means "maƱana", only for Podesta, really meant right away.) In an instant, the waiter hurried over with a bottle of Chianti as Podesta tied his napkin around his neck.
After finishing his meal, Podesta ordered a couple of cannolis to go. As customary, there was no check.
The next day, there was a big gathering at the Godmother's house. Podesta was in the kitchen cooking for everyone. While he was heating up the stove, the phone rang behind him. He answered.
"Hello?"
"Is Bill there?" a female voice asked sweetly.
"Yeah, who's dis?'
"Monica."
Discreetly, Podesta waved for Bill to come to the phone.
"It's for you."
Bill took the phone.
"Hello?"
"It's me, Monica."
"Yeah, I know," Bill answered in a low voice watching over his shoulder.
"When am I going to see you?" Monica asked.
"Soon. Soon. Look, I gotta go. I can't talk now."
"Tell me you love me," Monica persisted.
"Yeah, yeah. Uh, look I'll see you later, OK?"
Bill hung up the phone.
Podesta turned over his shoulder.
"Hey Bill, why don't you tell her you love her? 'I love a you with all my heart. If I don't a see you, Ima gonna die'. Come here. Let me show you how to cook da books."
First, you boil da water like dis, see? Then you throw in da old books. Let'em boil for 5 minutes till da numbers wash off. Then you add plenty of white clam sauce. No red. It's gotta be white sauce. Stir it around with da old books then throw in da new books. Stir some more. Let it all sit for 15 minutes and voila!
As soon as Bill left the room, the Godmother walked over. "Hey Gianni, you take of that business with that Juanita broad, like I told you to?"
"Oh yeah. You ain't gonna see her around no more."
"Good. When's lunch ready?
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Hey! What do you want? It's the day after Christmas.
You might have tried a parody on "A Christmas Carol." I've never seen it done with a female Scrooge.
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