Monday Morning Blues For Jay Carney

I just decided. I want to have Jay Carney's baby.

That's right.

It ain't easy having Jay's job. Just like Robert Gibbs under Bill Clinton, how do you come out day after day and spin those yarns in front of the White House press corps-especially now when even some of the liberal guys and gals are starting to ask hardball questions? Most recently, Jay has been trying to explain away the fact that the White House had denied that the Prez had ever met his illegal alien  half-uncle, Omar Obama, in Boston. That was until it came out that Barack had actually lived with Omar for a few months in Cambridge when Barack came to study at Harvard.

"Well, we eventually decided it would be better to ask the president, and he cleared it up. (Heh heh)"

But the good news is that Jay does have Saturday and Sunday to wind down and enjoy the football games until Monday when it's back to the grind. And today is Monday. I wonder what he'll be asked today.



(Dreamland)


"Good morning. This morning, the President and First Lady are off to South Africa to attend services for Nelson Mandela. They will return via Los Angeles, where they will attend a fundraiser at the home of George Clooney........"

"Hey Jay! Would you care to comment about the Redskins 45-10 loss yesterday to Kansas City?"

"As you know, the President has expressed his opinion that the name 'Redskins' is offensive and should be changed. As to the results of the game itself, while there were a few glitches in the early stages, it should be noted that the Red, er Washington performed much better in the second half and were only outscored 7-3. No one is more disappointed than the President himself, but we expect all the problems to be fixed by next week."

"Does the President still have confidence in Mike Shanahan, and will he remain in his position?"

"The President still has the utmost confidence in Mr Shanahan, and he will remain in his position. Mr Shanahan is committed to fixing the problems, so that the  Red, er Washington fans will get the Super Bowl this year they so richly deserve."

"Does the President still have confidence in team owner Daniel Snyder?"

"No comment."

"But Jay, for the team to get to the Super Bowl, they would have to win the next 10 games, and there's only three left."

"I can only refer you to my previous statement; Mr Shanahan is committed to bringing a Super Bowl this year to Washington."

"But the Super Bowl this year is in New York-and who will be playing in it?"

"Let's move on. Next question."

"Should the Chiefs changed their name too?"

"Next question."

"Jay, seems we had a big case of Climate Change this weekend judging by the games here, Philly, Pittsburgh and other places. Any comment on that?"

(Looking in his notebook) "I would refer you to former Vice President Gore's film, 'An Inconvenient Truth' on that issue. Thank you very much."


"Hey Jay! Jay!"