Barack Obama Stranded in Berlin: Please Help

Good Morning, Sir. May the blessings of the day be upon you.


I am President Barack Obama. In sadness and sorrow, I reach out to you for desperately needed help.

Yesterday, I was realizing my long-held dream of speaking in front of the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin in front of a million adoring Germans-so grateful since we liberated them from Adolf Hitler. I was in the middle of my speech telling them about how we no longer needed walls to separate ourselves from the Global Community when all of a sudden, I looked up from my teleprompter and saw that the million Germans were gone!

Instead, what I saw was a crowd of Libyans with automatic rifles yelling and screaming and charging toward me as they yelled something about a video.

I turned to find my ambassador, but he was wandering off alone  in the direction of the Tiergarten. I looked for my security detail. They were walking up the Unter den Linden with a few streetwalkers. The German police were nowhere to be seen.

I was all alone.

Desperately, I ran for several blocks until I found concealment in a bunker. I hid there for several hours until it was safe to come out. At that point, I realized I  had lost my wallet with all my cash and credit cards. All I had was my cell phone. I tried to call Hillary Clinton, but it was 3 am Washington time, and the phone just rang and rang and rang.

Now I am sleeping in a Berlin park filled with prostitutes and ambassadors and have no way to get back home. The armored limousines have been packed up and sent back to Washington, the aircraft carrier has returned to the Atlantic Ocean, and I am stranded in Berlin.

Please send $1,000 dollars immediately to me so I can return back to Washington. Joe Biden is running the country, and the situation is desperate. You can send the money through Organizing for America or just contact your nearest IRS office.

God bless you,


Barrack Obama