Random Shots in the Dark (35) Back by Popular Demand)

Now that the Iowa caucus is over, did you notice how fast the candidates and media got on their planes to New Hampshire? I mean, for all the great things we heard said about Iowa and its people, it sure is amazing how fast everybody clears out of there. You might think that the reporters would at least go have a nice dinner and a few beers, get some sleep, and head out the next morning after a leisurely breakfast, right?

"To New Hampshire! Live Free or Die!"

Wrong. They were out of there faster than the Cuban boat lift.

Did'ya catch the MSNBC coverage of the caucus?

Talk about partisanship. There was the MSNBC "expert panel",  made up of Tim Geithner and Ron Reagan look-a-like Rachel Maddow, along with some other liberal babe, and moderator Chris Hayes, be jeezuz, all 21 years of him. There was a surprise, however. They actually had a young guy from National Review as their showcase conservative! First conservative I've seen on MSNBC since Chet Huntley, I suppose. Of course, he was the only one who had anything objective to say as the others spent their time ridiculing all the candidates and those who voted for them.

Chris Hayes

Don't you just wanna hug him?

Of course, while all those fuddy-duddy, white, tea-partiers were "rioting at the ballot box" in Iowa, their opposite number, the Occupy" folks, were rioting for real in New York over the new year. At Zuccotti Park, the folks who represent the 99% of us, stabbed a cop in the hand and blocked the ambulance as dozens of their fellow Wobblies were being carted off to jail. At the rate they are going, 99% of the population in America will be behind bars. Talk about prison over-crowding!

Speaking of crime in New York, I know you all heard about that crazed fire-bombing "Islamophobe" who threw a Molotov cocktail at a mosque and a few other places. To hear CAIR tell it, it was another anti-Muslim Kristallnacht sweeping across America. As it turns out, it was some Guyanese crackhead who was sore at the mosque for not letting him use the bathroom. They must have thought he was an undercover FBI agent. And that Hindu site? Apparently, he confused it with a crack house, with which he had a "dispute". Note to CAIR spokesman Ibrahim Hooper: If you want to really see religious sites being fire-bombed, you're in the wrong country, Lad. You need to go to the real places, like Egypt, Iraq or Pakistan. I mean, if you want to see the Eiffel Tower, you don't go to Vegas. If Hooper thinks the US is so bad (He is always complaining about Islamophobia), why did he come here from Canada and become an American citizen?

Speaking of fire-bombers, the LAPD captured that guy who lit up about 50 cars in the LA-Hollywood area. Guess who he turned out to be. A Jerry, bejeezus! (That's a German for all you UC Santa Cruz Community Studies majors.) Seems he was upset because his Mutti was being deported back to Germany on a warrant charging her for not paying for her breast augmentations, and little Jerry (actually, his name is Harry), exploded in the courtroom and said he hated America. Why are you here, pal?

Oh yeah. One more little tidbit. The guy apparently has spent some time in Chechniya.
(Hint, hint.)

Speaking of Jerry.......



Hey Fousesquawk! What's your thesis??

I was just coming to that. As I was saying, There is more than just one Jerry in California. We also have our once and present governor, "Run-down" Jerry Brown. He is trying to raise our taxes even though he campaigned on a promise not to raise our taxes.....
without voter approval. Since the Republicans in Sacramento won't play along, he wants to put it on the 2012 ballot.

"Let the people decide."



Don't laugh. California has pretty much reached the point where the majority of the people here either work for the government or depend on the government for stuff. And Jerry wants to give them lots of stuff.

You see, up in Sacramento, they think that we aren't taxed enough here in California. Never mind that we have the highest gas tax in the US, the highest income tax in the US, the highest sales tax in the US, the highest corporate tax in the Western US-it just isn't enough to pay for all those important programs like the state Dream Act for illegal alien college students and higher pay and bennies for all the state government workers, who are covered by the good old SEIU.

"Raise our taxes! Raise our taxes!"

How about, "Look for the union label?"

"Whaddaya mean youse don't wanna raise taxes?"

And don't forget about all those great salaries for those great Marxist professors to run courses and departments like the Community Studies Dept, and History of Consciousness Dept. at UC Santa Cruz (America's Wackiest University.) That's right: The History of Consciousness Department. If only they had a History of Unconsciousness Department.

Can't make this stuff up, folks.

But there is good news. All those sprouting Middle East Studies departments in universities across the fruited plain, which are infested by radical pro-Palestinians, are actually being paid for by Saudi money. Not to worry.

But now for some reaaaly good news. How are you enjoying the college bowl games? You know, back when I was a kid, we had 4 bowl games; the Rose Bowl, the Sugar Bowl, the Orange Bowl and the Cotton Bowl. That was it. Now we have over a hundred, or at least it seems so. If you can't make it to a bowl game, you might as well shut down your football program and institute womens' volleyball. I mean, we have the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, the Farmers' Freedom Bowl, the Wheaties Cereal Bowl, the Preparation H Toilet Bowl. What's next?


I got it: The Fousesquawk Random Shots Bowl. UC Santa Cruz vs. UC Irvine.



The battle of the Banana Slugs vs the Anteaters!


In conclusion, I'm tired.  As John McLaughlin would say,


Bye Bye.





"What about your thesis? What the Hell is your thesis, Fousesquawk?

Oh yeah. I think Chris Hayes is just the cutest thing, don't you?