Random Shots in the Dark (25)

Think this is big enough to handle the job?













Well, it's opening day, and my Cubbies are off to their usual encouraging start. It's 14-5 in the eighth inning, our "Ace", Carlos Zambrano, got knocked out in the second inning, and Alfonso Soriano is 0 for 3 and ...., well, you get the picture.


I wonder what I'm gonna do this summer. I can always think about 1908.

On my to-do list for this week: Send a thank you note to Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA) for opposing the transfer of 8,000 Marines to Guam and thereby saving that poor island from tipping over and capsizing.

"Here's to Hank!"

Speaking of kooks, remember the kooky Catholic priest in Chicago, Michael Pfleger?

Well this week, he is getting a lifetime achievement award from Chicago's Cardinal George. Falls right in line with all those controversial speeches coming out of the Vatican on Easter in the face of all those priest pedophilia scandals. I wonder if Hillary will come and make the presentation after he ripped into her for being a white woman in the Democratic primary.

"I don't think that's funny."

You know, I don't want to offend my Catholic friends, including my wife (heh heh), but sometimes I think the Catholic faithful should just rise up, throw out all the guys in brightly colored robes, and run the churches themselves.

Which reminds me. That former empire known as Great Britain has its best legal minds mulling over the possibility of whether Pope Benedict XVI can be prosecuted in Britain because of the pedophilia scandal. The UK has one of those universal jurisdiction laws, which means they think they can prosecute anyone anywhere for anything. Far be it from me to defend the priests and church officials who covered up this crap for years, but Britain can't even run its own country without telling others how to run theirs. When they start locking up folks like Anjem Choudary in Britain, then I'll take them more seriously. Speaking of legal minds and the church in the UK, wasn't it their top justice minister and the Archbishop of Canterbury ( a dolt named Rowan Williams) who said not so long ago that Britain should implement shariah law? So much for that.

Which reminds me of RNC Chairman Michael Steele. I used to like the guy, but these stories of high-rolling and paying for bondage clubs has crossed the line.

"Send the bill to Mike."


I think he needs to be put in some other position where he can do a competent job. Now he's starting to pull out that race card. That won't cut it. And don't bother sending me more pleas for moeny, Mike. I'm not even a Republican.

The website Olbermann Watch has noted that recently when Lawrence O'Donnell was subbing for Keith ("Edward R") Olbermann, the show's ratings went up dramatically. Maybe that's because O'Donnell is only half as obnoxious as Olby.

Speaking of MSNBC, here's a late-breaker. They have just suspended commentator David Shuster indefinitely for making a pilot with "rival" CNN. I figured initially they had discovered he was the guy who inadvertently sprayed spittle on Emanuel Cleaver at the Capitol. (You won't get the joke unless you've seen Shuster on TV.)

Is it just me, or is Henry Waxman (another dolt) the ugliest man in Congress? Why doesn't his staff do something to improve his appearance, like maybe buy him a wig? Hmm. Let's see.

There. Cute as a teddy bear. (I'll expect my subpoena any day now.)

I see where our diplomacy has gotten so bad that "President" Karzai over in Afghanistan is threatening to join the Taliban. Time to send Hillary over there to "straighten things out".


What? She just spoke to him? That explains it all.

"I don't think that's funny."

If our diplomacy continues like this, who's next? Will Sarkozy join the French Foreign Legion? Will Berlusconi join the Mafia? Who knows? Maybe Queen Elizabeth will obey the commands of Anjem Choudary and convert to Islam.

Anything not to have to deal with Hillary Clinton.

Alan Grayson is back in the news again. The 2009 Fousesquawk Golden Penguin Jerk of the Year winner now wants to sue some doctor who put a sign on his office door telling Obama voters to go somewhere else.


The last time we heard from Grayson, he wanted the DOJ to prosecute and imprison a woman for starting a blog (dedicated to Grayson) entitled (quite aptly); "My Congressman is Nuts". Has this boob even heard of the First Amendment?

President Obama was exercizing his 1st Amendment today when he took 17 minutes
and 12 seconds to answer a question from the audience in North Carolina.



"Now that's funny!"