Why I Didn't Watch the Emmys Last Night

I didn't even know the Emmys were on until I walked downstairs and my wife was watching it. I hastily returned upstairs to a good book. I could have predicted that the entire show would consist of self absorbed actors trashing President Trump. Here is what I missed.

I missed ham actor Alec Baldwin telling me that when I die, my last thoughts will be devoted to thinking of his starring role in..........something or other.

I missed that great American patriot Jane Fonda making a cameo role and, naturally, trashing Trump. At least Trump never went to North Vietnam to schmooze with the enemy.

I missed Stephen Colbert, who if he weren't ragging on Trump and other Republicans, would have no material. He would have to turn to soap operas.

I missed Danny Glover, a most unhappy man since his hero, Hugo Chavez, died. He should go back to Venezuela and hand out food parcels to starving Venezuelans.

I also missed some guy named Riz Ahmed whining about injustices in our criminal justice system and Islamophobia, while saying nothing about crime or Islamic terrorism or Islamic persecution of religious minorities.

What  I did not miss was a good book.