Moderator: "Welcome to (Homeland) Jeopardy, Ladies and Gentlemen. Please welcome our first contestant and defending champion, Janet Napolitano!"
"Now let's welcome our two challengers. First, from Houston, Texas, please welcome Sheila Jackson-Lee."
M: "What do you do in Houston, Sheila?"
S J-L "Actually, I work in Washington. I am a Member of Congress, I am."
M: "Really? Tell me, Sheila. How many Smurfs had to die to make that suit you're wearing?"
S J-L: "Huh?"
"And our next challenger, please welcome Jeh Johnson."
JJ: "Well, uh, I'm the secretary of Homeland Security."
M: "Well, that sounds like an interesting job. Tell me. Do you always type with an arrow through your head?"
JJ: "I don't type, and what arrow?"
M: "Never mind. Let's move on and play (Homeland) Security. Janet, the first clue is yours."
JN: "Texas for $200."
Clue: Terrorists
JJ: "What is the name of the Houston baseball team?"
Moderator: "No".
SJ-L:" What is the Texas Republican party?"
M: "No."
JN: "Where am I?"
M: "No. Next clue to you, Sheila."
S J-L "Dates for $500."
Clue; September 10, 2014
JJ: "What was the weather in Texas on September 10, 2014?"
M: "Sorry, that's not it."
JN: "Was George W. Bush born on September 10, 2014?"
M: " Sorry. Jeh, pick the next clue."
JJ: "Arrests for $700."
Clue: On September 10, 2014, four known or suspected terrorists were arrested after crossing the border from Mexico into Texas."
JJ: "Is that right?"
JN: "Where is Texas?"
S J-L: "Where is Mexico?"
M: "Sorry. Well, it seems we are out of time and out of clues. Tune in next week when our clueless contestants will play (Homeland) Jeopardy."
JJ: "Can I call a friend?"
See? The border is under control.
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