From:
Dr. Regina Incognito
Dean of History of Consciousness
PhD in History of Consciousness
University of Miami
I am pleased to welcome all of you to the new semester at the History of Consciousness program at UC Santa Cruz (America's Wackiest University) We are also pleased to welcome those students who were enrolled in the
Power to the People!
This semester we have a lot of exciting classes and programs that we are offering. One example is the Occupy Preparation course, which covers such topics as taking over city parks, setting up tent cities, and how to defecate on police cars.
We are also instituting a section on the great thinkers of Asia, both past figures like Ho Chi Minh, Mao Tse Tung, and Kim Il Sung, and more recent thinkers like Kim Jong Il, Kim Jong Eun, and Kim Kardashian.
In order to remain on the cutting edge of education and compete with other universities around the country, we will also be offering great sex seminars. For the first time, and only at UCSC, students will learn how to put a condom over a pumpkin.
In addition to our own great staff of teachers, we are inviting many visiting professors from other UC campuses, such as Drs. Soho Dolly and Mork SmIth from UC IrVine, Hattie Buzzy from UC Beserkley, and many others.
We also offer a study abroad program in North Korea, Venezuela, Iran, Gaza, the West Bank, and Central African Republic.
With a bachelor's degree in History of Consciousness, you will be prepared to enter one of the Occupy movements around the country. A doctorate will enable you to become a professor in our program preparing the next generation of community activists. Who knows? You may one day teach a future president.
"Look! He's conscious!"
Sounds great! Just in case one of these scholars doesn't make it to the presidency, they can still offer a lot of useful skills to potential employers. (Of course, they will have to get in the application line behind all those who majored in Women's History and Black Studies)
ReplyDeleteBut, hey, work is outdated and overrated. If you check around on how to do it, you can make a decent living on food stamps, unemployment, and disability payments and besides get free cell phones and contraceptives. Then you can spend all your time watching TV reality shows or playing video games.
So go for it, History of Consciousness majors! And by the way, there is some stuff you can smoke that will help your sense of Consciousness even more, but I'm sure you already know about it.
Miggie,
ReplyDeleteI was looking through their webpage tonight and noted that they are having an event with a film about the kidnap and murder trial of Angela Davis. (Davis is a professor in the department- Emirata, I believe))
Cute, but not one for the ages.
ReplyDelete