"Down with the Government!"
We interrupt this riot to bring you a special address to the Greek Parliament by the Vice President of the United States, the Honorable Joe Bidenopoulos.
"Mr President, Members of the Greek Hellish Parliament, Greek people.
Where the Hell am I?
Oh yes. I am here representing President Barack America and the Obaman people in your hour of need. Sure. I could have been attending some funeral in Peru or getting out the votes in Warren, Ohio, but I am here instead in the Hellish Republic of Greece.
And that's a big f-------' deal!
I am so proud to be speaking here in the land of Aristotle. Is he here tonight? Stand up, Artie, so everybody can see ya.
You Greeks have been an inspiration to Americans and me with your great spending programs, early retirements and untold numbers of government workers. You know, us Americans can learn a lot from you. That's why under President Obama, we have instituted spending measures just like you. We have hired thousands of new government workers with fancy titles, government desks and government cars. That's called a three- letter word, folks- jobs-J-O-B-S.
And that's a big f--------' deal!
I know there are nay-sayers-like those cheap Germans who grumble about paying their fair share and helping out a fellow EU member in need. They wanna put y'all in chains. They're just like the 1% we got in the US. Don't worry about them. We took care of 'em in World War II, and we'll take care of em' again if they get out of line.
You know, I have known three Greek prime minsters, eight of them intimately. I'm pretty impressed with your new prime minister, Mr. Whats-his-Opoulos. He's clean, articulate, and even speaks English with a Pakistani accent. I told him if he ever comes to the US, I'll get him a job at a 7-11 in Delaware.
And that's a big f--------' deal (especially for a Greek).
"#@^* Delaware!"
You may not know this, but when my great grandfather came to the US from Ireland, he had a Greek girl friend whose name was something or other-opoulos. He married her and changed his name to Bidenopoulos probably cuz the cops were looking for a guy named Biden in one of those Irish gangs. Many years later, the current mayor of Los Angeles, Tony Villar, got married to a gal named Raigosa, so he changed his name to Villaraigosa, probably for the same reason. Remember that name because he's gonna run for president some day-on the Democratic ticket, of course.
Where was I? Where am I?
Well, in closing, if there is anything we in America can do for y'all, just pick up the phone and give a holler."
We now return you to our riot in progress.
"Down with America!"
"
You left out the wealthy tax evaders...
ReplyDeleteGreece, like the U.S., ran up huge deficits under a pro-business conservative government.
Then when it was all about to collapse, they lost an election to the Panhellenic Socialist Party. (We don't have either in the United States, since there are about as many panhellene as socialist voters here.)
After it all crashed, the conservatives said "See what happens when you elect socialist?" and sort of won an election, except that a diffuse radical left party and a proto-fascist party were the ones making real gains.
Voter aren't quite sure who did what to them, but they DON'T LIKE IT.
And I don't think Joe Biden is getting involved in the mess at all. Even he isn't that stupid. I mean, he did get himself elected senator from Delaware for several terms.
I have apparently missed something in the translation. I was somehow under the no doubt mistaken impression that we had run up, and continue to run up, huger deficits under an anti-business liberal government than we ever did under a pro-business conservative government. But then again, what do I know??
ReplyDeleteelwood, you know far less than an informed citizen should...
ReplyDeleteExamine the budgets of Ronald Reagan, GWHB, and GWB.
Note that by the end of Clinton's second term, we were running budget surpluses for the first time in my life (and I was born during Eisenhower's first term). GWB thought the surplus should be "given back to the people" RATHER THAN applied to a $5 trillion debt. He then doubled the debt with deficit spending.
Remember Cheyney's famous quip, "Reagan proved that deficits don't matter"???
My mother is the Republican in the family. She has been deeply embarrassed by her party's deficit spending since 1980.