Let's Play, "Name that Zionist Jew!"

"Good evening. It's time for another exciting episode of "Name that Zionist Jew. And here's your host, Irrrrrrrrrrv Schwartz!!"

"Hello everyone. Thank you very much. Welcome to Name that Zionist Jew. Tonight's contestant is from Oakland. Please welcome Amir Adel Malik Ali!!"

(Applause)



"Tell us, Malik, what do you do up there in sunny Oakland?"

"I keep an eye out for Zionist Jews, Irv."


"Well, you should do well tonight. Are you ready to play?"

"I am."

"OK. Question number one. Which of the below persons is a Zionist Jew?"

a Benjamin Netanyahu
b Rahm Israel Emanuel
c Afred E Newman

"That would be B- Rahm Israel Emanuel."

"Oh, I'm sorry. The answer is A. That's OK. You'll do better next time. Here is question number 2. Which of the below is a Zionist Jew?"

a Tim Geithner
b George Clooney
c Shimon Peres

"Easy. Tim Geithner."

"Uh, no. The answer is c."

"Damn."

"Let's try another. Which of the below is a straight-up Zionist Jew?

a Rupert Murdoch
b Alan Dershowitz
c Kobe Bryant

"That would be Rupert Murdoch, final answer."

"I'm sorry Malik. The answer is Alan Dershowitz."

"But wasn't he the guy that defended OJ?"

"Yes. He did that too."

 "Next question. Who was the first president of Israel?

a David Axelrod
b David Ben-Gurion
c Davy Jones

"Uhhhh. I think I'd better call a friend."

"Who do you want to call?"

I want to call Professor Hatem Bazian. He's an expert at Berkeley."

Hatem Bazian. Berkeley expert.

"Ring"



"Hello."

"Hello, Professor Bazian?"

"Yes."

"This is Irv Schwartz on Name that Zionist Jew. Your friend, Amir Abdel Maliki Ali, needs your help. I'll put him on."

"Hello, Hatem. Who was the first president of Israel, David Axelrod, David Ben-Gurion or Davy Jones?"

That has to be David Axelrod. I have seen his name on one of the university buildings".

"Thanks, Hatem. David Axelrod-final answer."

"I am sooooo sorry, Malik. The answer is David Ben-Gurion. We only have time for two more questions, so here is the next question. Who killed Malcolm X?"

A Nation of Islam
B Zionist Organization of America
C FBI

"Uhhh. Elimination please".

A Nation of Islam
B FBI

"FBI".

"Sorry, Malik. The answer is Nation of Islam. Anyway, here is your last chance for a consolation prize. No names this time. Of the 4 pictures below, which one is a Zionist Jew?"
                           
                                                                              A

                                                                                B

                                                                               

                                                                                C

                                                                   

                                                                               D


"Well, let's see, Irv. That guy in picture "A" sure looks like a Zionist Jew to me. On the other hand, picture "D" is Jerry Lewis. I always figured he was a Jew.

"Actually, Malik. That is Jerry Lee Lewis. Different person."

"In that case, picture A-final answer."

"Sorry Malik. The answer is C- Golda Meir."

"Well, that's all the time we have for tonight. Please accept these flowers, Malik. And folks-be sure to tune in tomorrow night for another episode of "Name That Zionist Jew!!"