Learn a Language in 30 Days

You know those language course ads you see in the airplane magazines that promise you that if you use their product, you can learn a new language in 30 days just by listening to their tapes and repeating phrases?

"Using our scientifically-proven method, you learn your new language effortlessly-like a child does."

The only problem is you don't have the brain of a child-if you have reached puberty and beyond.

"Uhhh.....yeaaaah.

Another problem is that some people have a greater aptitude for language than others, just as some have a greater aptitude for math than others. Yet, these companies plug along even telling you that all the government agencies like the State Department and Department of Defense use their products. Well, they weren't using them in 1974 when I studied Thai at the Foreign Service Institute in Rosslyn, Virginia or Italian at the Defense Language Institute in Monterey, California in 1982.

Anyway, somebody sent me a Pimsleur ad yesterday, and I actually spent the time to listen to their promo for 10 minutes. It went something like this:
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"If you have ever wanted to learn a foreign language but thought you didn't have the time to take those expensive classes or spend a year in a foreign country, now you can learn a new language in 30 days. Guaranteed!

That's because our Pimsleur method, developed by a world renowned language expert, will teach you your new language according to a proven, scientific method. Years ago, Dr Pimsleur discovered that people learn by repeating everyday phrases. So he developed this program that eliminates tedious grammar and vocabulary studies. Here's how it works. You spend only thirty minutes a day listening to 4 CDs in your car, office, bicycle or whatever as you go about your daily business. You'll hear phrases in the language that natives use every day and you repeat them. In 30 days, you'll be speaking your new language effortlessly with no accent. You will be able to order in restaurants. You'll be able to carry on conversations with Vinnie and Sluggo. Your friends will be amazed.

Amazing!

Now I am going to demonstrate how you can learn a new language just as a child does. In this case, we will examine our course in Brooklynese. You will repeat the following phrases you hear from a native Brooklynese-speaker.

1  "Yo, how-ya dooin?"

(Hi! How are you?)

2  "Hey, Georgie! Gimme one-a-dose gizmos."

(Hey, George. Give me one of those things.)

3 " Hey Mac! Where's Foist Street?"

(Excuse me, Sir. Where is First Street?)

4 "Whaddaya mean youse don't wanna join da union?"

(What do you mean you don't want to join the union?)

5  "Fahgeddaboutit."


(Forget about it.)

See how easy it is? You don't have to waste time and money going to classes, nor do you have to take time off from your job and family to live in Brooklyn for a year.

So what are you waiting for? For a limited time only, we are offering our product, worth hundreds of dollars for a reduced price of 20 dollars.

But wait!

If you order within the next 24 hours, we will ship you our complete Brooklynese course for only 10 dollars-shipping included. If you are not completely satisfied and speaking Brooklynese within 30 days, we will refund your ten dollars-no questions asked.

So whaadayas waiting for? Call now."
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If you have 10 bucks burning a hole in your pocket, be my guest.