Jeff Halper
Recently I wrote a piece on the speaking visit to UC-Irvine of that renowned anthropology professor from Israel, Jeff Halper. It has gotten me to thinking that just maybe Professor Halper has the secret to finding and killing Osama Bin Laden.
Spectral dust.
That's right, folks. It all makes perfect sense. You see, Professor Halper, who is an American-born guy who immigrated to Israel 40 years ago and became an Israeli citizen, now goes around trhe world telling eager university audiences what an evil country Israel is and all the terrible things they do to the Palestinian people and all the secret weapons they have developed.........
But I digress.
Let me get straight to the point; Professor Halper, who is also the originator of the world-famous theory of the Core and the Gap, told us at UCI that the Israelis have developed a secret weapon called spectral dust. You see, each grain of this dust, when spread over areas of land acts as a sensor.
According to Halper, when just one of these sensors is programmed with an individual's DNA, it can actually track, locate and kill the person in question-in this case, Osama Bin Laden.
So here's the plan; we locate one of Bin Laden's direct line female relatives who has his DNA (or is it male relatives?), we attach that DNA to the spectral dust, and we spread it over all of Waziristan. In no time at all, the dust finds Osama and does him in.
President Obama will be so happy.
George Galloway will be so sad.
Professor Halper, if you are reading this, call me.
Didn't Professor Halper get the dusk from Peter Pan and Tinker Bell?!
ReplyDeleteSquid
Pixie dust, speactral dust-what's the difference.
ReplyDeleteAmazing. Halper is a Professor (!) Mark LeVine is a Professor (!) Ward Churchill was a Professor (1) The list could go on into the hundreds, probably into the thousands.
ReplyDeleteWho feels good about sending their kids to be educated by guys like that? Who feels good about paying money for them?
Things have consequences. Sometimes they are delayed, but they always come about.
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You really think bin-Laden is still alive, Gary?
ReplyDeleteJohn E,
ReplyDeleteI don't know. Do you?
Hi John! Nice to hear from you.
ReplyDeleteGary, do you devote this kind of time and attention to every lunatic and doddering old fool you happen to hear about?
Not a bad idea about the spectral dust... but if it was a real option, think how quickly the human race would be thinned out by the wave of revenge killings that could be committed with impunity around the world.
Siarlys,
ReplyDeleteYes because this lunatic and doddering old fool gets invited to campuses all over the world to spout this nonsense to university audiences. You bet I'll devote time and space to him.
I think most campuses are also visited by doddering old fools who speak about magic crystals and sacred spaces and meditating your way to heaven.
ReplyDelete