"Greetings tax-payers. This is John Conyers, congressman from Michigan, on behalf of my good friends at Playboy. You know, when I am traveling back and forth between Washington and Detroit, I take advantage of the down time to bring myself up-to-date on current affairs by reading Playboy. Especially now since my wife is doing time for bribery, Playboy helps me fill in the lonely hours-if you know what I mean.
All kidding aside, I find the articles in each edition of Playboy to be highly informative, especially on issues such as what Miss January thinks of world affairs.
Not only that, but Playboy helps keep this 81-year-old congressman informed on what the younger generation is thinking on such topics as gay issues. Just last July, while flying back to Washington, I found a very stimulating piece on lesbianism featuring two experts named Trixie and Sabrina-or something like that. In addition, Playboy also has a regular feature on universities. Last month, there was a special article on the girls of Princeton. We all need to pay more attention to our younger generation, you know.
Reading a bill? Think again.
Playboy also has great articles on international affairs. This month's issue has a great piece on the girls of Finland. I'll have to make it a point to schedule a fact-finding trip over there this year.
And here is the best feature of all; you can take Playboy right through airport security lines. Oh sure; the screeners may grope the pages, take it into a back room, and all that, but they'll let you take your Playboy right on board. By the way; have you ever wondered what Miss October looks like when viewed through one of those full-body scanners?
So next time you are traveling, pick up the latest issue of Playboy-better yet, for only one extra dollar, get the special edition with Teflon pages.
Why does it have Teflon pages, you ask?
You don't wanna know. Besides, this is a family blog."
You already ran this number. Don't you have anything else to write about?
ReplyDelete