"Ich bin ein Weener!"
The following statement was released Friday by the office of Anthony Weiner /Weener/, congressman from New York:
"Everywhere I go, my fans..
As I was saying, everywhere I go, people ask me why I pronounce my name "Weener" instead of "Whiner". The reason is obvious. If I called myself "Whiner", all those conservatives would make fun of my name and call me a whiner.
I am no whiner.
Just because I occasionally whine about tea-baggers and other right-wing nuts like Glenn Beck, who oppose our president's policies doesn't make me a whiner.
I am a weener.
Take Glenn Beck for instance. Lately, he has been trying to undermine our president and our economy by shilling for Goldline, a company that deals in gold coins. What could be more subversive than that? Those ads are misleading, folks. You think gold is a safe investment? Let me tell you; the way things are going, it's gonna take all the gold in Ft Knox to buy one hot dog.
So do the math; the sound investment is not in gold. It's in....
weeners!
But I digress.
Lemme give you a little linguistics lesson. The word wiener actually comes from the German word for a person from Vienna (Wien:/Veen/ with the w pronounced as a v in German. (ie in German is pronounced /ee/, while ei is pronounced /I/). Wiener is also an adjective for anything from Vienna, for example, a wienerschnitzel-Vienna style scnitzel.
I'll pause here to give you UC Santa Cruz Community Studies majors time to catch up.
(One hour later)
As I was saying, calling myself "Weener" instead of "Whiner" not only allows me to avoid all those dumb, conservative "whiner" jokes, but also allows me to follow in the footsteps of my political hero, John F. Kennedy.
"Ich bin ein Weener!"
It also allows me to debunk all that nonsense about investing in gold and keep all you dumb people from watching Glenn Beck. Bottom line? Never invest in gold-invest in weeners.
Hear that sound? That's the sound of....
weeners!
Gary, are you off your meds?
ReplyDeleteKennedy's famous exclamation at the Berlin Wall is said, by sources who know German, which I do not, to actually translate "I am a jelly donut."
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, I see nothing in the foregoing post to explain what our gracious host objects to in Rep. Wiener's politics. There may be some good cause, but the humor doesn't actually reveal what it is.
refusedw - what a Freudian word verification!
Lance,
ReplyDeleteDamn! I forgot to take them this morning!
Siarlys,
That is true. He should have said, "Ich bin Berliner."
As for Weiner-he is a weener. I thought I made that clear.
As for Weiner-he is a weener. I thought I made that clear.
ReplyDeleteIt's all so clear now.
Only a person born in Berlin is a Berliner (ich bin kein Berliner, ich bin eine Erlangerin). In the Rhineland, a Berliner is what Americans call a doughnut. In Berlin doughnuts are called Pfannkuchen, and in Bavaria Krapfen. In parts of Frankonia they are called Faschingskraepfle.
ReplyDeleteA "Wiener Wuerstchen" is some sort of hot dog, also called "Frankfurter Wuerstchen". There is no connection to the American "weener".
You deserve a Berliner filled with mustard served with a bottle of Lance's chili beer.
And Kennedy lied one way or the other when he said "ich bin ein Berliner". So, there.....
Oh dear, I was hoping you had some basis in policy or voting record for the succinct label you apply to the man. I guess you don't.
ReplyDeleteIngrid,
ReplyDeleteThe kids at UC Santa Cruz thank you for the clarification.
Crud...as usual, Kirsti's comment is, in fact, mine. She signs on so rarely that I never bother to check if it's me who's signed in when I make a post.
ReplyDeleteLance,
ReplyDeleteThanks. It's all so clear now.