Good evening. I am the great George Galloway here to speak to you about my favorite product-Spandex. As you may know, I am the national representative for Spandex in the UK.
Nothing is more comfortable than Spandex. There is nothing more relaxing when I come home from a busy day of causing problems than to slip into my Spandex, light up a cigar and enjoy a nice bowl of warm milk.
Spandex is also quite convenient for those times I must risk getting arrested for my various activities in support of Hamas...er...the people in Gaza. If I think I may have to go to jail, I just pack a Spandex suit in a small bag and I am all set (don't have to put on those silly-looking orange pantsuits, you know).
Spandex is also great for traveling. Especially those long truck rides around the Middle East trying to find a way into Gaza. I don't have to change into my pajamas when I am trying to catch a few winks in the back of a lorry. I even brought a set of Spandex to my good friend in Gaza, Ismail Haniya.
In addition, because Spandex is so stretchable, it gives me complete freedom of movement when I get into a rock fight with those evil Egyptian police.
And here's another great feature of Spandex. It's easy to wash. Let's say you spill a bit of Iraqi oil on your Spandex suit. Just pour water and it all washes off. No trace, if you know what I mean.
That reminds me; Spandex makes a great gift. I have given Spandex suits to all my friends in the Middle East, not only Ismael Haniya, but-
Saddam Hussein
and his charming son, Uday.
In fact, Saddam and Uday loved them so much, they wore them to the day they died (R.I.P.).
"Are you comfortable, Saddam?"
"Yes, quite comfortable, thank you."
Well, I have to go now. I am already preparing for my next trip to Gaza, which will have to be by sea since those evil Egyptians won't let us cross into Gaza by land. Oh, that reminds me; in case those evil Israelis blow our boat out of the water, Spandex is also waterproof.
(Hey kids! Figure out the secret Red Rider message and win a prize!)
No comments:
Post a Comment