Random Shots in the Dark (18)

This is an emergency edition of Random Shots because there is so much sh** to clean up. (Actually, this is like shootin' fish in a barrel.)


(Hat tip to somebody. I can't read the writing.)

Did you catch wise guy Howard Dean defending Van Jones today? In one breath, he describes him as a Yale-trained lawyer, and in another breath, he claims Jones didn't know what he was signing when he signed the 9-11 truther petition.

.....Yale-trained lawyer,..... didn't know what he was signing......



Let's ask another Yale-trained lawyer if he would sign something without knowing what it was he was signing. You, Sir! Don't they teach you better than that at Yale?

"Uhhh,.....yeaaaah."




"I don't think that's funny."

Anyway, enough about Van Jones, he will do quite well on the university lecture circuit. Maybe fellow communist Dr. Angela Davis will give a him a faculty position at UC Santa Cruz (America's wackiest university) Community Studies Department.

"I don't think that's funny."

So now, we are to be treated with a week of President Obama's stirring oratory as he talks to school kids Tuesday and the school kids in Congress on Wednesday. By now, with all the furor, Obama won't say anything more controversial to the schoolkids (Tuesday) than, "Don't forget to eat your Wheaties."

As for Wednesday, once again, for the 5th time, he will try to explain the unexplainable, decipher the indecipherable, and make us all see that the government can do a better job of running our health care-especially after the great stimulus package, takeover of the banks, GM, Chrysler and Cash for Clunkers. Why what reasonable person wouldn't be convinced of that?

"Uhhhh,........yeaaaah."

Speaking of failures, here is today's Cub score:

Mets 4
Cubs 2

And how is your year going, Mr Piniella?

"Ain't my f-^%^&*%#o fault! Hendry's the f-%^&*(%#@ guy!"

On the foreign front, how long do you think Gordon Brown will remain as Prime Minister in Britain? A fortnight, perhaps?

Along those lines, here's a question for Robert (Jokeman) Gibbs at the next White House briefing (are you listening, Major Garrett?)

"Now that the Brits have released their documents relating to the release of Abdelbaset al-Megrahi, when will the US Government release its own correspondence with the Brits on this issue?"

Meanwhile, out here in Kalifornia, the joint's burning down again, everybody who has a job is leaving the state, and we are about to witness history's biggest jail break-courtesy of Governor Katzenjammer and his liberal friends in the state legislature. But there is good news. We finally had the final (I hope) Michael Jackson farewell funeral. By varying estimates, this affair only cost between $75,000-$700,000. There were escort cops galore, helicopters, and commoners kept out of Forest Lawn during the event. I'm glad I wasn't there. The invited guests, Liz Taylor, Barry Bonds, McCulkey Caulkin-or whatever his name is, and other assorted flakes were all there sitting outside in 90 degree heat, dressed in black and breathing in the smoke of the nearby fire. After a two hour wait, Jackson arrived in his gold casket, waved goodbye, and was put in a crypt in a section completely blocked off from the rest of the commoners with 12 spaces reserved for unidentified family members who will join him in the hereafter. (And I do mean unidentified. God only knows by now who is and isn't related to Michael Jackson.)

Oh, by the way, Al Sharpton was there too. A news reporter told us that when Sharpton's car arrived at the gate, he got out, did a 360 degree pirouette while the cameras were flashing, then got back in his car and proceeded to the viewing area.

Speaking of Jackson, not since the end of World War II, has anybody left a bigger mess behind for everybody to clean up. Now they are even passing rumors that McCully Mcaulkin or whatever his name is might even be the biological father of one of Jackson's three kids. Wasn't it just a few years ago, rumors were going around that he was one of Michael's....

I won't go on, but if both were true, that would be a family tree for the ages.


"Now that's funny."

Have I covered it all?



"Where's Van?"

"Don't ask questions."